Looks like I got a lot of joke answers for the previous mpt but oh well, what did I expect? Speaking of jokes...

Your task: Tell me about a joke you know or have heard, a good prank you've seen, something funny that's happened here or irl. Reminisce about something that made you laugh. Let's get happy.

25 words minimum!

You will receive 1 TPE for fulfilling all requirements.

This PT will close Sunday, November 21st at 11:59pm CT. Posts submitted/edited after the deadline will receive 0 tpe.
If you have any questions/concerns, please PM me. Tasks with malicious intent will not be graded. Graders reserve the right to determine what is malicious. You will not be warned.
This PT is for SHL players and send downs only; it is not for SMJHL Rookies.

P.S. Let me get these jokes out of the way before I see hundreds of these: H.O, parity in the league, Ham punishment, any punishment
What did I miss?

Aleister Cain - S42-S57
HOF GOALIE- CLASS OF S60- SECOND BALLOT
S54 CHALLENGE CUP
S54 RAZOV

Ville Kurri - S57-S70
BEST SMJHL DEFENSIVE FORWARD S60
That's pretty much it

|  |

Nothing is better to see that a good link prank. You never know what to expect, but you always know that clicking any link carries some risk behind it. Here is an example media of a prank link!

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Player Page||Update Page
 

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Hopefully this mpt task won’t get me in trouble, but im about to tell you all a dirty joke… and it’s real dirty.. here it is…




The man fell in the mud.

#dirty

[S58] #A-Rye Izzy || D || CGY || #Killowna || 1438 TPE 
Born: S39
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 188 lbs
Number: 86
Position: Hybrid Defender
Birth Place: Vienna, Austria
Residence: Toronto, Canada
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Statistics:
S60| CGY | GP 66| G: 11| A: 15| P: 26| H: 57 | BK: 85| +15 | PPP: 00
S61| CGY | GP 66| G: 05| A: 15| P: 20| H: 64 | BK: 96| +06 | PPP: 00
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season Statistics:
S57| KEL| GP 66| G: 05| A: 13| P: 18| H: 57| BK: 27| -01| PPP: 00
S58| KEL| GP 63| G: 08| A: 23| P: 31| H: 51| BK: 30| +20| PPP: 02
S59| KEL| GP 66| G: 13| A: 22| P: 35| H: 74| BK: 64| +30| PPP: 01
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Post Season Statistics:
S57| KEL| GP 07| G: 00| A: 00| P: 00| H: 03| BK: 02| -01| PPP: 00
S58| KEL| GP 12| G: 01| A: 04| P: 05| H: 05| BK: 04| -04| PPP: 00
S59| KEL| GP 17| G: 06| A: 05| P: 11| H: 22| BK: 10| +11| PPP: 01
--------------------------------------------------
Drafts:
S34 - SMJHL: Drafted 5th overall by Kelowna
S35 - SHL: Auto Drafted by Calgary
--------------------------------------------------
Timeline:
S57 - Youngest player drafted in league history.
S58 - Named Alternate Captain of the Kelowna Knights
S58 - Won Silver Medal with DACH in the WJC
S59 - Named Captain of the Kelowna Knights
S59 - Won Gold Medal with DACH in the WJC
S59 - Kelowna wins 4-Star Cup Championship




Mike Izzy || S34-55 || HOF || TPE Max: 2207 || Cups: 3 
Alias: the Augment
Born: 9/4/1995
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 228 lbs
Number: 19
Birth Place: Whitby, Ontario
--------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Statistics:
S55| CGY| GP 50| G: 14| A: 12| P: 26| H: 154| BK: 28| +23| SHT: 149
S54| CGY| GP 50| G: 21| A: 19| P: 40| H: 108| BK: 28| -05 | SHT: 144
S53| CGY| GP 50| G: 17| A: 23| P: 40| H: 185| BK: 13| +11| SHT: 152
S52| CGY| GP 50| G: 17| A: 21| P: 38| H: 196| BK: 19| +11| SHT: 199
S51| CGY| GP 50| G: 14| A: 23| P: 37| H: 227| BK: 18|  -05| SHT: 166
S50| CGY| GP 50| G: 18| A: 33| P: 51| H: 186| BK: 20| +16| SHT: 185
S49| CGY| GP 50| G: 29| A: 24| P: 53| H: 174| BK: 11| +24| SHT: 177
S48| CGY| GP 50| G: 21| A: 29| P: 50| H: 220| BK: 15| +10| SHT: 196
S47| CGY| GP 50| G: 20| A: 30| P: 50| H: 208| BK: 26| +18| SHT: 193
S46| CGY| GP 50| G: 22| A: 28| P: 50| H: 218| BK: 19| +05| SHT: 252
S45| CGY| GP 50| G: 15| A: 26| P: 41| H: 216| BK: 14|  -03| SHT: 216
S44| CGY| GP 50| G: 19| A: 33| P: 52| H: 180| BK: 10| +15| SHT: 206
S43| CGY| GP 50| G: 21| A: 27| P: 48| H: 198| BK: 10| +04| SHT: 214
S42| CGY| GP 50| G: 26| A: 26| P: 52| H: 176| BK: 17| +11| SHT: 213
S41| CGY| GP 50| G: 20| A: 25| P: 45| H: 190| BK: 13| - 05| SHT: 208
S40| CGY| GP 50| G: 20| A: 20| P: 40| H: 200| BK: 16| +10| SHT: 193
S39| CGY| GP 50| G: 24| A: 24| P: 48| H: 209| BK: 05| +23| SHT: 178
S38| CGY| GP 50| G: 15| A: 16| P: 31| H: 192| BK: 07| +09| SHT: 124
S37| CGY| GP 50| G: 07| A: 09| P: 16| H: 149| BK: 04| +06| SHT: 071
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Statistics:
S37| CGY| GP 07| G: 00| A: 00| P: 00| H: 17|: -07| SHT: 40| PIM: 02
S38| CGY| GP 18| G: 06| A: 01| P: 07| H: 65|: -04| SHT: 67| PIM: 28
S39| CGY| GP 04| G: 00| A: 00| P: 00| H: 11|: -04| SHT: 08| PIM: 06
S40| CGY| GP 19| G: 06| A: 11| P: 17| H: 50|: +02|SHT: 37| PIM: 12
S41| CGY| GP 06| G: 01| A: 03| P: 04| H: 32|: -04| SHT: 12| PIM: 16
S42| CGY| GP 14| G: 14| A: 10| P: 24| H: 70|: +11|SHT: 85| PIM: 19
S43| CGY| GP 06| G: 02| A: 00| P: 02| H: 18|: +01|SHT: 24| PIM: 00
S44| CGY| GP 05| G: 01| A: 03| P: 04| H: 21|:  -02|SHT: 23| PIM: 04
S46| CGY| GP 10| G: 06| A: 06| P: 12| H: 49|: +03|SHT: 35| PIM: 27
S47| CGY| GP 10| G: 06| A: 06| P: 12| H: 49|: +03|SHT: 35| PIM: 27
S48| CGY| GP 11| G: 04| A: 06| P: 10| H: 47|: +01|SHT: 55| PIM: 10
S49| CGY| GP 07| G: 03| A: 06| P: 09| H: 29| : -01| SHT: 32| PIM: 04
S50| CGY| GP 20| G: 16| A: 16| P: 32| H: 68| :+21| SHT: 88| PIM: 28
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season Statistics:
S34| KEL| GP 50| G: 10| A: 09| P: 19| : +19| PIM: 38| H: 107|
S35| KEL| GP 50| G: 17| A: 16| P: 33| : -10| PIM: 58| H: 145|
S36| KEL| GP 50| G: 18| A: 17| P: 35| : +04| PIM: 58| H: 130|
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Statistics:
S34| KEL| GP: 06| G: 2| A: 4| P: 6| : +5| PIM: 02| H: 17|
S35| KEL| GP: 12| G: 5| A: 3| P: 8| :  +2| PIM: 12| H: 31|
------------------------------------------------------------
International Hockey Statistics (IIHF):
S36| AUT| GP 11| G: 2| A: 2| P: 04| : +1| PIM: 12| H: 22| SOG: 16
S37| AUT| GP 11| G: 3| A: 1| P: 04| :  -6| PIM: 06| H: 51| SOG: 25
S38| AUT| GP 10| G: 3| A: 4| P: 07| : +7| PIM: 06| H: 40| SOG: 32
S39| AUT| GP 11| G: 2| A: 3| P: 05| : -04| PIM: 06| H: 36|SOG: 38
S40| AUT| GP 12| G: 4| A: 2| P: 05| : -04| PIM: 14| H: 43|SOG: 47
S41| AUT| GP 10| G: 5| A: 2| P: 07| : -03| PIM: 06| H: 24|SOG: 44
S42| AUT| GP 13| G: 3| A: 5| P: 08| : -01| PIM: 12| H: 26|SOG: 51
S43| AUT| GP 12| G: 6| A: 7| P: 13| : -02| PIM: 12| H: 56|SOG: 42
S44| AUT| GP 11| G: 6| A: 8| P: 14| :+06| PIM: 06| H: 48|SOG: 36
S45| AUT| GP 13| G: 7| A: 3| P: 10| :+01| PIM: 16| H: 45|SOG: 61
S46| AUT| GP 15| G:10| A:10| P:20| :+11| PIM :08| H: 58|SOG: 61
S47| AUT| GP 15| G:08| A:08| P:16| :+09| PIM :10| H: 36|SOG: 56
S47| AUT| GP 12| G:04| A:10| P:14| :+00| PIM :04| H: 33|SOG: 51
------------------------------------------------------------
Drafts:
S34 - SMJHL: Drafted 22nd overall by Kelowna
S35 - SHL: Drafted 4th overall by Edmonton
------------------------------------------------------------
Contracts:
S34 - Signed 1-yr/$2mil entry deal with Kelowna
S35 - Signed 3-yr/$1mil contract with Edmonton
S38 - Signed 2-yr/$4mil contract with Calgary
S39 - Signed 5-yr/$21mil contract extension with Calgary
S45 - Signed 2-yr/$4mil contract with Calgary
S47 - Signed 2-yr/$4mil contract with Calgary
S49 - Signed 2-yr/$6mil contract with Calgary
S51 - Signed 2-yr/$6mil contract with Calgary
S53 - Signed 2-yr/$6mil contract with Calgary
S55 - Signed 1-yr/$4mill contract with Calgary
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards:
S34 - Maxim Horvat Award for Kelowna's Top Rookie
S35 - Elias Armia Award for Kelowna MVP
S36 - Saku Perhonen Award for Most Exciting Player
S39 - Jesster Award for Calgary Dragons MVP
S42 - Jesster Award for Calgary Dragons MVP
S43 - Damian Littleton Trophy - Most Dedicated User
S45 - Jesster Award for Calgary Dragons MVP
S46 - IIHF’s Top Forward Award
S47 - Jeff Dar Trophy - Best 2 Way Forward
S49 - Jay McDonald Trophy - Most Goals (29)
S50 - Jesster Award for Calgary Dragons MVP
------------------------------------------------------------
Timeline:
S35 - Named Alternate Captain of the Kelowna Knights
S35 - Named Media Director/Head Scout of Edmonton
S36 - Named Media Director of the Calgary Dragons
S36 - Transfered from Team Canada to Team Austria
S37 - Named GM of Team Austria of the IIHF
S38 - Calgary: Western Conference Champions
S39 - Named Alternate Captain of the Calgary Dragons
S39 - SHL All Star ‘3rd Team’
S40 - Calgary: Western Conference Champions
S40 - Calgary: Challenge Cup Champions!
S41 - Named Head of the SHL Awards Committee
S42 - Calgary: Western Conference Champions
S42 - Calgary: Challenge Cup Champions!
S42 - Jeff Dar Nomination (Best 2 way forward)
S42 - Anton Razov Nomination (Playoff MVP)
S43 - Named head of the Player Progression Department
S43 - Jeff Dar Nomination (Best 2 way forward)
S43 - Damian Littleton Trophy (Most Dedicated User)
S43 - IIHF Bronze Medal Winner
S44 - SHL All Star ‘2nd Team’
S44 - Jeff Dar Nomination (Best 2 way forward)
S45 - #1 in the SHL in hits (216)
S45 - IIHF Bronze Medal Winner
S45 - Damian Littleton Nomination (Most Dedicated User)
S46 - Jeff Dar Nomination (Best 2 way forward)
S46 - Damian Littleton Nomination (Most Dedicated User)
S47 - #1 in the SHL in hits (208)
S47 - Calgary: Western Conference Champions
S47 - IIHF Bronze Medal Winner
S47 - Ranked #1 in the top 100 list for S47
S48 - 1st player ever to add 50p/200h is 3 straight years
S48 - SHL All Star ‘2nd Team’
S48 - Ranked #1 in the top 100 list for S48
S48 - Jeff Dar Nomination (Best 2 way forward)
S48 - 6 Jeff Dar noms is the most in SHL history for that award
S49 - Calgary: Presidents Trophy
S49 - SHL All Star ‘3rd Team’
S49 - Jeff Dar Nomination (Best 2 way forward)
S49 - Ron Mexico Nomination (Leagues Most valuable Player)
S49 - Calgary creates the Mike Izzy Award for (Team Sportsmanship)
S50 - Calgary: Western Conference Champions
S50 - Calgary: Challenge Cup Champions!
S50 - SHL All Star ‘3rd’ Team’
S50 - Jeff Dar Nomination (Best 2 way forward)
S50 - Anton Razov Nomination (Playoff MVP)
S51 - Named Co-GM of the Calgary Dragons
S55 - Mike Izzy became the SHL’s all time hits leader (3585)
S55 - Mike Izzy retires from the SHL
------------------------------------------------------------
Trades:
S36 - Traded to the Calgary Dragons
------------------------------------------------------------
TPE at the start of each season:
S37 - 751 TPE
S38 - 937 TPE
S39 - 1,114 TPE
S40 - 1,298 TPE
S41 - 1,465 TPE
S42 - 1,646 TPE
S42 - 1,858 TPE
S43 - 2,041 TPE
S44 - 2,109 TPE
S45 - 2,204 TPE (Final)



Coach Izzy || General Manager || CGY || S59-Present  
Overall Record: 148W, 90L, 24OTL +114
Seasons: 4
Playoffs: 4
Series Wins: 3
Challenge Cups: 0
------------------------------------------——------
Regular Season Record:
S59 - 42W, 20L, 4OTL, 88 PTS, +44
- Division Winner
- 1st Round Bye
- Lost to Chicago in quarterfinals
------------------------------------------——------
S60 - 38W, 21L, 7OTL, 83 PTS, +62
- Division Winner
- Wins against: Seattle, Edmonton
- Western Conference Championship Series
------------------------------------------——------
S61 - 34W, 26L, 6OTL, 74 PTS, +5
- 2nd Place, Pacific Division
- Wins against: Los Angeles
- Lost to Edmonton in quarterfinals
------------------------------------------——------
S62 - 36W, 23L, 7OTL, 79 PTS, +03
- 2nd Place, Pacific Division
- Lost to Seatlle in round 1


||
||

The biggest joke (in his own words) is that @juke has the 2nd Highest TPE Defender in the League .... and always underperforms.  Its hard to watch our jucc feel the need to retire after every season, but then IIHF Jukka comes around and gives him hope.  I'm not sure if it is funny or sad anymore. 

[img=0x0]https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/889201044154904606/1150524829653536909/mikko.png?ex=65bff03f&is=65ad7b3f&hm=7f3229285f883239ca6017785e905ed3ff0a8b42b94f57638f43c11a5e635414&[/img][img=0x0]https://simulationhockey.com/tradingcards/4028.png[/img][img=0x0]https://simulationhockey.com/tradingcards/5431.png[/img][img=0x0]https://simulationhockey.com/tradingcards/5570.png[/img][img=0x0]https://simulationhockey.com/tradingcards/7241.png[/img][img=0x0]https://simulationhockey.com/tradingcards/5906.png[/img][img=0x0]https://simulationhockey.com/tradingcards/6149.png[/img][img=0x0]https://simulationhockey.com/tradingcards/7950.png[/img]

So this joke is horrible. But my dad told me it when I was like 4 years old and I still vividly remember actually rofl-ing. I also don't know if it translates well since I do not know if the "tongue" of the shoe has the same meaning in English as it has in german, but here it goes:

A guy comes into a shoe store and wants to try on a shoe. The clerk gives it to him and the dude is like "It doesn't fit, man". The clerk tells him that he has to put the tongue out, and the customer replies: "Bwell ith still doeshnt fith".

Actually this one works so much better in real life.

 

   Jean-Jacques François Jacques-Jean || S74   

    Finn von Murphenstein || S57 - S72     

Why did the chicken jump up and down? She was trying to make scrambled eggs!

Why did people love to dance to the vegetable band? It had a great beet!

What do you call a fake noodle? Impasta!

Sig credits: OrbitingDeath & enigmatic

Deth Klaw || Defenseman || Montreal Patriotes || 1175 TPE



Miguel Hefeweizen || SFP/WPG (retired) || S58-75 || 2077 Peak TPE

My favorite joke of late is a recurring one from the ISFL. Once Schwarz mentioned she wanted shawarma on an off comment. Syl came in and asked if anyone was feeling cold and then responded with "Well, its shawarma here." It was a terrible joke, but we still giggle about it today.

[img=0x0]https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/819596167843151906/843586092388057098/De_pengu_logo_2.png[/img]

I remember this one time a WKP player jokingly made a retirement post on April Fools day and when he said "April Fools", HO said his post counted and had to unretire with the penalty.

Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Please take care of it. Here are some helpful links just in case.

Algonquin College Student Support Services - 613-727-4723
Crisis Text Line - Text 'HOME' to 741741
Distress Centre Ottawa and Region - 613-288-3311
Good2Talk - 1-866-925-5454
Kid's Help Phone - 1-800-668-6868
Mental Health Hotline Ontario - 1-866-531-2600
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1-800-273-8255

Click here for a list of crisis centres within Canada
Suicide Prevention Resource Centre
Suicide Awareness Voices of Education

If you have the contact info to your local mental help centres, let me know!
--------------------

Player Page | Updates

Borje Samuelsson || D || New England Wolfpack || 1001 TPE
Height: 6'7"
Weight: 235 lbs
Number: 2
Player Type: Quarterback
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Statistics:
Regular Season Statistics:
S61 | Anaheim Outlaws | 66 GP | 12 G | 18 A | 30 P | -23 | 14 PIM
S62 | Anaheim Outlaws | 66 GP | 14 G | 24 A | 38 P | -17 | 37 PIM
S63 | Anaheim Outlaws | 66 GP | 11 G | 31 A | 42 P | +23 | 32 PIM
S64 | San Francisco Pride | 66 GP | 05 G | 12 A | 17 P | -01 | 12 PIM
S65 | San Francisco Pride | 66 GP | 13 G | 28 A | 41 P | +09 | 20 PIM
S66 | San Francisco Pride | 66 GP | 16 G | 32 A | 48 P | +35 | 46 PIM
S67 | San Francisco Pride | 66 GP | 12 G | 29 A | 41 P | +24 | 30 PIM
S68 | New England Wolfpack | 66 GP | 10 G | 36 A | 46 P | -09 | 26 PIM
S69 | New England Wolfpack | 66 GP | 15 G | 42 A | 57 P | +14 | 30 PIM
S70 | New England Wolfpack | 66 GP | 09 G | 25 A | 34 P | +35 | 38 PIM
S71 | New England Wolfpack | 66 GP | 22 G | 59 A | 81 P | +60 | 30 PIM
Total | 528 GP | 102 G | 263 A | 365 P | +167 | 232 PIM
------------------------------------------------------------
Playoffs Statistics:
S61 | Anaheim Outlaws | 06 GP | 01 G | 02 A | 03 P | -01 | 02 PIM
S62 | Anaheim Outlaws | 06 GP | 01 G | 01 A | 02 P | 00 | 02 PIM
S63 | Anaheim Outlaws | 09 GP | 01 G | 05 A | 06 P | +01 | 02 PIM
S64 | San Francisco Pride | 20 GP | 01 G | 07 A | 08 P | +03 | 02 PIM
S65 | San Francisco Pride | 10 GP | 03 G | 02 A | 05 P | +01 | 00 PIM
S66 | San Francisco Pride | 06 GP | 01 G | 01 A | 02 P | +04 | 04 PIM
S67 | San Francisco Pride | 04 GP | 00 G | 02 A | 02 P | -07 | 02 PIM
S68 | New England Wolfpack | 05 GP | 00 G | 01 A | 01 P | -08 | 00 PIM
S69 | New England Wolfpack | 14 GP | 03 G | 05 A | 08 P | +15 | 06 PIM
S70 | New England Wolfpack | 28 GP | 03 G | 08 A | 11 P | -01 | 10 PIM
Total | 87 GP | 11 G | 26 A | 37 P | +07 | 24 PIM
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Statistics:
S61 | Sweden WJC | 15 GP | 02 G | 06 A | 08 P | +03 | 06 PIM
S62 | Sweden WJC | 12 GP | 00 G | 03 A | 03 P | -11 | 02 PIM
S63 | Sweden WJC | 14 GP | 03 G | 07 A | 10 P | +06 | 04 PIM
Total | 00 GP | 00 G | 00 A | 00 P | +00 | 00 PIM
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
S61: Drafted in the second round, 15th overall by Anaheim Outlaws
S61: Signed 1 year, $2 million contract with Anaheim Outlaws
S62: Drafted in the second round, 31st overall by San Francisco Pride
S62: Signed 2 year, $5 million contract with San Francisco Pride
S64: Signed 1 year, $3.5 million contract with San Francisco Pride
S65: Signed 3 year, $9 million contract with San Francisco Pride
S68: Signed 3 year, $16 million contract with San Francisco Pride
S68: Traded to New England Wolfpack with Petr Svoboda for S68 NEW 1st, S68 SEA 1st, and S29 NEW 2nd
S71: Signed 1 year, $5 million contract with New England Wolfpack
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards/Honours:
S61, S63: Named Alternate Captain of Anaheim Outlaws
S61: Named to Swedish National Junior Team
S61: IHF World Junior Championships Silver Medal
S63: SMJHL All-Star


Herb Robert || RW || Retired (S44-55) || 1406 TPE
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 213 lbs
Number: 98
Player Type: Sniper
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Statistics:
Regular Season Statistics:
S41 | Vancouver Whalers | 50 GP | 17 G | 16 A | 33 P | +19 | 25 PIM
S42 | Vancouver Whalers | 50 GP | 17 G | 18 A | 35 P | +18 | 18 PIM
S43 | Vancouver Whalers | 50 GP | 21 G | 23 A | 44 P | +14 | 18 PIM
S44 | Seattle Riot | 50 GP | 05 G | 11 A | 16 P | -28 | 14 PIM
S45 | New England Wolfpack | 50 GP | 11 G | 15 A | 26 P | -11 | 2 PIM
S46 | New England Wolfpack | 50 GP | 08 G | 18 A | 26 P | -14 | 6 PIM
S47 | New England Wolfpack | 50 GP | 21 G | 27 A | 48 P | +12 | 2 PIM
S48 | New England Wolfpack | 50 GP | 13 G | 23 A | 38 P | +3 | 0 PIM
S49 | New England Wolfpack | 14 GP | 07 G | 08 A | 15 P | +2 | 0 PIM
S49 | Manhattan Rage | 36 GP | 19 G | 19 A | 38 P | +9 | 14 PIM
S50 | Manhattan Rage | 50 GP | 16 G | 08 A | 24 P | -2 | 24 PIM
S51 | Chicago Syndicate | 50 GP | 17 G | 28 A | 45 P | +19 | 2 PIM
S52 | Chicago Syndicate | 50 GP | 12 G | 23 A | 35 P | -9 | 14 PIM
S53 | Chicago Syndicate | 50 GP | 13 G | 18 A | 31 P | +6 | 16 PIM
S54 | San Francisco Pride | 50 GP | 12 G | 23 A | 35 P | -9 | 14 PIM
S55 | Tampa Bay Barracuda | 50 GP | 12 G | 09 A | 21 P | -18 | 20 PIM
Total | 550 GP | 166 G | 230 A | 396 P | -40 | 128 PIM
------------------------------------------------------------
Playoffs Statistics:
S41 | Vancouver Whalers | 5 GP | 1 G | 0 A | 1 P | +1 | 2 PIM
S42 | Vancouver Whalers | 11 GP | 4 G | 0 A | 4 P | -1 | 2 PIM
S43 | Vancouver Whalers | 10 GP | 4 G | 5 A | 9 P | +5 | 12 PIM
S44 | DNQ
S45 | New England Wolfpack | 05 GP | 03 G | 02 A | 05 P | -3 | 00 PIM
S46 | DNQ
S47 | DNQ
S48 | DNQ
S49 | Manhattan Rage | 11 GP | 03 G | 07 A | 10 P | -1 | 06 PIM
S49 | Manhattan Rage | 06 GP | 00 G | 01 A | 01 P | 00 | 00 PIM
Total | 22 GP | 06 G | 10 A | 16 P | -4 | 06 PIM
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Statistics:
S41 | Canada WJC | 12 GP | 2 G | 1 A | 3 P | -1 | 0 PIM
S42 | Canada WJC | 11 GP | 2 G | 7 A | 9 P | -1 | 2 PIM
S43 | Canada WJC | 15 GP | 4 G | 5 A | 9 P | -2 | 8 PIM
S44 | Latvia WC | 13 GP | 1 G | 4 A | 5 P | 7 | 2 PIM
S45 | Latvia WC | 10 GP | 1 G | 6 A | 7 P | 3 | 2 PIM
S46 | Latvia WC | 13 GP | 7 G | 8 A | 15 P | 4 | 4 PIM
S47 | Latvia WC | 12 GP | 5 G | 8 A | 13 P | 1 | 2 PIM
S48 | Latvia WC | 13 GP | 6 G | 3 A | 9 P | 6 | 4 PIM
S49 | Latvia WC | 13 GP | 5 G | 7 A | 12 P | -2 | 2 PIM
S50 | Latvia WC | 12 GP | 5 G | 6 A | 11 P | -6 | 4 PIM
S51 | Latvia WC | 12 GP | 7 G | 3 A | 10 P | 2 | 2 PIM
S52 | Latvia WC | 12 GP | 5 G | 4 A | 9 P | 1 | 2 PIM
S53 | Latvia WC | 12 GP | 4 G | 3 A | 7 P | -5 | 14 PIM
S54 | Latvia WC | 12 GP | 0 G | 5 A | 5 P | -6 | 43 PIM
S55 | Latvia WC | 12 GP | 0 G | 3 A | 3 P | -15 | 6 PIM
Total | 146 GP | 46 G | 60 A | 106 P | -21 | 87 PIM
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards/Honours:
S41: Won the Esa Anrikkanen Trophy (Top SMJHL Rookie)
S41: Won WJC Silver Medal with Team Canada
S43: Won Four Star Cup with Vancouver Whalers
S43: Vyacheslav Onoprienko Trophy Nominee (Most Underrated)
S44: Won WC Silver Medal with Team Latvia
S46: Won WC Bronze Medal with Team Latvia
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
S41: Drafted 7th Overall by the Vancouver Whalers
S41: Signed 1 year, $2 million contract with Vancouver Whalers
S42: Drafted 2nd Overall by the Seattle Riot
S42: Signed 2 year, $11 million contract with Seattle Riot
S44: Traded to New England Wolfpack for Soren Kierkegaard and NEW S47 1st
S44: Signed 3 year, $15 million contract with New England Wolfpack
S44: Named to Latvian National Team
S49: Traded to Manhattan Rage for CHI S50 3rd, MAN S50 4th, and MAN S51 2nd
S51: Traded to Chicago Syndicate for CHI S52 3rd and CHI S53 Cond 2nd
S54: Traded to San Francisco Pride for Patric Twist and WKP S54 Cond 2nd
S54: Signed 1 year, $4 million contract with San Francisco Pride
S55: Signed 1 year, $3.5 million contract with Tampa Bay Barracuda
S55: Retired from SHL


Jed Lloren || RW || HoF Player (S20-40) || 1612 TPE
Height: 5'3"
Weight: 145 lbs
Number: 2
Player Type: Playmaker
------------------------------------------------------------
Regular Season Statistics
S19 - St. Louis Scarecrows | 40 GP | 5 G | 10 A | 15 P | 6 PIM | +/-: -2 |
S20 - West Kendall Platoon | 50 GP | 11 G | 9 A | 20 P | 11 PIM | +/-: -3 |
S21 - West Kendall Platoon | 52 GP | 15 G | 15 A | 30 P | 18 PIM | +/-: 5 |
S22 - West Kendall Platoon | 52 GP | 10 G | 26 A | 36 P | 26 PIM | +/-: -16 |
S23  - West Kendall Platoon | 52 GP | 14 G | 27 A | 41 P | 49 PIM | +/-: 3 |
S24 - West Kendall Platoon | 52 GP | 16 G | 29 A | 45 P | 82 PIM | +/-: 9 |
S25 - West Kendall Platoon | 50 GP | 14 G | 28 A | 42 P | 34 PIM | +/-: 12 |
S26 - West Kendall Platoon | 50 GP | 18 G | 14 A | 32 P | 35 PIM | +/-: 13 |
S27 - Los Angeles Panthers | 43 GP | 11 G | 16 A | 27 P | 34 PIM | +/-: 7 |
S27 - Texas Renegades | 07 GP | 03 G | 04 A | 07 P | 12 PIM | +/-: 2 |
S28 - Texas Renegades | 50 GP | 16 G | 26 A | 42 P | 36 PIM | +/-: 16 |
S29 - West Kendall Platoon | 50 GP | 17 G | 21 A | 38 P | 34 PIM | +/-: 16 |
S30 - West Kendall Platoon | 50 GP | 16 G | 20 A | 36 P | 38 PIM | +/-: 14 |
S31 - Buffalo Stampede | 40 GP | 15 G | 21 A | 36 P | 52 PIM | +/-: -7 |
S31 - Seattle Riot | 10 GP | 05 G | 04 A | 09 P | 02 PIM | +/-: 1 |
S32 - Seattle Riot | 50 GP | 25 G | 28 A | 53 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 20 |
S33 - Seattle Riot | 50 GP | 17 G | 18 A | 35 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 10 |
S34 - West Kendall Platoon | 50 GP | 17 G | 22 A | 39 P | 06 PIM | +/-: 7 |
S35 - West Kendall Platoon | 50 GP | 14 G | 26 A | 40 P | 02 PIM | +/-: 1 |
S36 - Seattle Riot | 50 GP | 18 G | 39 A | 57 P | 06 PIM | +/-: 26 |
S37 - Seattle Riot | 50 GP | 19 G | 26 A | 45 P | 16 PIM | +/-: 19 |
S38 - Seattle Riot | 50 GP | 15 G | 25 A | 40 P | 04 PIM | +/-: 10 |
S39 - Seattle Riot | 50 GP | 20 G | 25 A | 45 P | 07 PIM | +/-: 0 |
S40 - Seattle Riot | 06 GP | 02 G | 01 A | 03 P | 00 PIM | +/-: -2 |
S40 - San Francisco Pride | 28 GP | 05 G | 14 A | 19 P | 04 PIM | +/-: -7 |
S40 - West Kendall Platoon | 15 GP | 03 G | 07 A | 10 P | 02 PIM | +/-: -7 |
Total - 1057 GP | 336 G | 491 A | 827 P | 510 PIM | +/-: 149 |
------------------------------------------------------------
align=center]Playoff Statistics
S19 - St. Louis Scarecrows | 15 GP | 05 G | 03 A | 08 P | 04 PIM | +/-: -3 |
S20 - West Kendall Platoon | 04 GP | 00 G | 00 A | 00 P | 02 PIM | +/-: -3 |
S21 - West Kendall Platoon | 05 GP | 01 G | 02 A | 03 P | 10 PIM | +/-: 0 |
S22 - West Kendall Platoon | 12 GP | 00 G | 06 A | 06 P | 24 PIM | +/-: 0 |
S23 - DNQ
S24 - DNQ
S25 - West Kendall Platoon | 17 GP | 04 G | 11 A | 15 P | 06 PIM | +/-: 3 |
S26 - West Kendall Platoon | 07 GP | 03 G | 04 A | 07 P | 10 PIM | +/-: 3 |
S27 - Texas Renegades | 05 GP | 02 G | 05 A | 07 P | 04 PIM | +/-: 1 |
S28 - Texas Renegades | 05 GP | 03 G | 02 A | 05 P | 08 PIM | +/-: 2 |
S29 - West Kendall Platoon | 06 GP | 01 G | 03 A | 04 P | 02 PIM | +/-: -2 |
S30 - West Kendall Platoon | 13 GP | 02 G | 06 A | 08 P | 00 PIM | +/-: -2 |
S31 - Seattle Riot | 11 GP | 03 G | 05 A | 08 P | 02 PIM | +/-: 0 |
S32 - Seattle Riot | 06 GP | 02 G | 02 A | 04 P | 02 PIM | +/-: 0 |
S33 - Seattle Riot | 04 GP | 01 G | 01 A | 02 P | 00 PIM | +/-: -3 |
S34 - DNQ
S35 - West Kendall Platoon | 05 GP | 02 G | 01 A | 03 P | 00 PIM | +/-: -4 |
S36 - Seattle Riot | 07 GP | 02 G | 04 A | 06 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 3 |
S37 - Seattle Riot | 14 GP | 08 G | 13 A | 21 P | 02 PIM | +/-: 9 |
S38 - Seattle Riot | 07 GP | 03 G | 02 A | 05 P | 00 PIM | +/-: -5 |
S39 - DNQ
S40 - West Kendall Platoon | 06 GP | 01 G | 03 A | 04 P | 04 PIM | +/-: 0 |
Total - 135 GP | 37 G | 71 A | 108 P | 74 PIM | +/-: 2 |
------------------------------------------------------------
IHF Statistics
S19 | Friendlies | 04 GP | 00 G | 02 A | 02 P | 02 PIM | +/-: 1 |
S20 | Qualifiers | 04 GP | 01 G | 00 A | 01 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 3 |
S20 | Friendlies | 04 GP | 00 G | 01 A | 01 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 5 |
S21 | Friendlies | 02 GP | 00 G | 00 A | 00 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 2 |
S21 | Qualifiers | 02 GP | 00 G | 00 A | 00 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 0 |
S21 | IHFWC | 16 GP | 04 G | 04 A | 08 P | 25 PIM | +/-: 0 |
S22 | Friendlies | 04 GP | 00 G | 01 A | 01 P | 06 PIM | +/-: 2 |
S22 | IHFWC | 13 GP | 03 G | 05 A | 08 P | 04 PIM | +/-: 1 |
S23 | Friendlies | 02 GP | 01 G | 03 A | 04 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 2 |
S23 | IHFWC | 13 GP | 01 G | 05 A | 06 P | 02 PIM | +/-: 5 |
S24 | IHFWC | 11 GP | 01 G | 04 A | 05 P | 04 PIM | +/-: -5 |
S25 | IHFWC | 11 GP | 03 G | 05 A | 08 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 4 |
S26 | IHFWC | 12 GP | 02 G | 06 A | 08 P | 02 PIM | +/-: 2 |
S27 | IHFWC | 13 GP | 04 G | 07 A | 11 P | 02 PIM | +/-: 4 |
S28 | IHFWC | 13 GP | 02 G | 11 A | 13 P | 04 PIM | +/-: 3 |
S29 | IHFWC | 13 GP | 05 G | 07 A | 12 P | 06 PIM | +/-: -7 |
S30 | IHFWC | 10 GP | 00 G | 07 A | 07 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 1 |
S31 | IHFWC | 12 GP | 02 G | 04 A | 06 P | 00 PIM | +/-: -4 |
S32 | IHFWC | 11 GP | 01 G | 03 A | 04 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 5 |
S33 | IHFWC | 11 GP | 04 G | 05 A | 09 P | 00 PIM | +/-: -2 |
S34 | IHFWC | 13 GP | 04 G | 03 A | 07 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 1 |
S35 | IHFWC | 13 GP | 03 G | 09 A | 12 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 8 |
S36 | IHFWC | 10 GP | 02 G | 05 A | 07 P | 02 PIM | +/-: 1 |
S37 | IHFWC | 11 GP | 05 G | 08 A | 13 P | 04 PIM | +/-: 0 |
S38 | IHFWC | 10 GP | 02 G | 02 A | 04 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 2 |
S39 | IHFWC | 11 GP | 01 G | 04 A | 05 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 0 |
S40 | IHFWC | 10 GP | 02 G | 02 A | 04 P | 00 PIM | +/-: 0 |
Total - 259 GP | 53 G | 113 A | 166 P | 63 PIM | +/-: 32 |
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
S19 - Signed 1 year, $1.5 million contract with St. Louis Scarecrows
S19 - Named to Swedish National Team
S20 - Drafted in the first round, 11th overall by West Kendall Platoon
S20 - Signed 3 year, $15.175 million contract with West Kendall Platoon
S23 - Signed 2 year, $8 million contract with West Kendall Platoon
S25 - Signed 3 year, $4.5 million contract with West Kendall Platoon
S27 - Used PO to opt out of final year of contract
S27 - Rights traded to LAP for NEW S27 2nd and LAP S27 4th
S27 - Signed 1 year, $4 million contract with Los Angeles Panthers
S27 - Traded to Texas Renegades for TEX S29 1st
S28 - Signed 1 year, $4 million contract with Texas Renegades
S29 - Signed 2 year, $6 million contract with Texas Renegades
S29 - Traded to West Kendall Platoon for WKP S32 2nd and WKP S32 3rd
S31 - Signed 2 year, $14 million contract with Buffalo Stampede
S31 - Traded to Seattle Riot for EDM S32 1st and Pablo Biznette
S33 - Signed 1 year, $5 million contract with Seattle Riot
S34 - Signed 1 year, $4 million contract with West Kendall Platoon
S35 - Signed 1 year, $4 million contract with West Kendall Platoon
S36 - Traded to Seattle Riot with Ty Justice for Mattias Holmberg and SEA S38 1st
S36 - Signed 2 year, $8 million contract with Seattle Riot
S38 - Signed 1 year, $3 million contract with Seattle Riot
S39 - Signed 1 year, $2 million contract with Seattle Riot
S40 - Signed 1 year, $2 million contract with Seattle Riot
S40 - Traded to San Francisco Pride for Jackson Conklin and Gunner Rask
S40 - Traded to West Kendall Platoon for S43 WKP 3rd
S40 - Retired from SHL
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards/Honours
S19 - Luke Riggs Award (Most activity in St. Louis Scarecrows LR)
S20 - SHL All-Rookie Team
S21 - IHF World Championships Silver Medal
S22 - S24 - Captain of West Kendall Platoon
S22 - IHF World Championships Bronze Medal
S23 - IHF World Championships Bronze Medal
S24 - SHL All-Star (Starter)
S24 - SHL 2nd Team All-Star
S25 - Co-winner, Lance Uppercut Award (Best SHL GM)
S26 - Co-winner, Lance Uppercut Award (Best SHL GM)
S27 - IHF World Championships Silver Medal
S28 - IHF World Championships Gold Medal
S29 - IHF World Championships Gold Medal
S31 - S34 - Alternate Captain of Swedish National Team
S32 - SHL 2nd Team All-Star
S33 - Number retired by St. Louis Scarecrows
S35 - IHF World Championships Silver Medal
S36 - S37 - Alternate Captain of Seattle Riot
S37 - President's Trophy (with Seattle)
S37 - Joe McKeil Trophy (Best SHL Coach)
S37 - Co-winner, Lance Uppercut Award (Best SHL GM)
------------------------------------------------------------
Jobs
S20 - S24, S35 - S36: Sweden Federation Head
S20 - S21, S24, S35: Rookie Mentor Committee
S20 - S21: Fantasy League Manager
S20 - S23: Team World General Manager (Platoon Training Camp)
S20 - S26, S31: Banker
S20 - S23: Board of Directors
S23 - S31: League Advisor
S25 - S26: West Kendall Platoon Co-GM
S29 - S30: Media Grader
S30: Colorado Mammoths Co-GM
S31 - S32: Colorado Mammoths Head GM
S37 - S38: Seattle Riot Coach
S37 - S38: Seattle Riot Co-GM
S38 - S40: Awards Committee Head
S39: Seattle Riot Head GM
------------------------------------------------------------
Management Statistics
S21 | Sweden (IHFWC) | 16 GP | 08 W | 05 L | 03 OL | Silver | Federation Head |
S22 | Sweden (IHFWC) | 13 GP | 07 W | 04 L | 02 OL | Bronze | Federation Head |
S23 | Sweden (IHFWC) | 13 GP | 08 W | 04 L | 01 OL | Bronze | Federation Head |
S24 | West Kendall Platoon (SHL) | 52 GP | 20 W | 27 L | 05 OL | DNQ | Co-GM |
S24 | Sweden (IHFWC) | 11 GP | 06 W | 04 L | 01 OL | QF | Federation Head |
S25 | West Kendall Platoon (SHL) | 50 GP | 31 W | 16 L | 03 OL | Finals | Co-GM |
S30 | Colorado Mammoths (SMJHL) | 50 GP | 17 W | 24 L | 09 OL | WCSF | Co-GM |
S31 | Colorado Mammoths (SMJHL) | 50 GP | 27 W | 20 L | 03 OL | WCSF | Head GM |
S32 | Colorado Mammoths (SMJHL) | 50 GP | 18 W | 28 L | 04 OL | WCSF | Head GM |
S35 | Sweden (IHFWC) | 13 GP | 07 W | 04 L | 02 OL | Silver | Federation Head |
S36 | Sweden (IHFWC) | 10 GP | 05 W | 03 L | 02 OL | Round Robin | Federation Head |
S37 | Seattle Riot (SHL) | 50 GP | 35 W | 12 L | 03 OL | WCF | Coach/Co-GM |
S38 | Seattle Riot (SHL) | 50 GP | 28 W | 16 L | 06 OL | WCSF | Coach/Co-GM |
S39 | Seattle Riot (SHL) | 50 GP | 16 W | 30 L | 04 OL | DNQ | Coach/GM |

I think some of the best times I had with SHL guys was back in... summer 2020? I'm not sure when Fall Guys came out exactly, but a bunch of us from Detroit were playing together a lot. All the games were fresh and new and nobody was tired of it yet. It was just a bunch of goofy fun with so many dumb moments that made us laugh. Hard to beat times like that where something new comes out and people get to enjoy it together.

Pinli Switchbang || Seattle Argonauts || Colorado Raptors || Center ||  1368 TPE
Season: 75 | Country: Finland

Number: 68 | Height: 5'0 | Weight: 150

------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Statistics:
------------------------------------------------------------
Regular Season
------------------------------------------------------------
S78 | 66 GP | 18 G |  27 A  |   45 P   |  -40  | 143 S | 78 H

S79 | 66 GP | 12 G |  29 A  |   41 P   |  -34  | 125 S | 68 H

------------------------------------------------------------

Playoffs
------------------------------------------------------------
S78 |  4 GP  |  0 G  |   0 A   |    0 P    |   -3   |  10 S  | 12 H

S79 |  5 GP  |  3 G  |   3 A   |    6 P    |   -1   |  15 S  | 6 H
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Statistics:
------------------------------------------------------------

Regular Season
------------------------------------------------------------
S74 | 66 GP | 27 G |  19 A  |   46 P   |  +10  |  185 S  | 75 H

S75 | 66 GP | 26 G |  40 A  |   66 P   |  +33  |  208 S  | 106 H

S76 | 66 GP | 37 G |  42 A  |   79 P   |   +0   |  279 S  | 131 H

S77 | 66 GP | 39 G |  36 A  |   75 P   |   +0   |  244 S  | 136 H

------------------------------------------------------------

Playoffs
------------------------------------------------------------

S74 | 24 GP | 10 G |  6 A  |   16 P   |  +4  |  59 S  | 26 H

S75 | 17 GP |  9 G  | 17 A |   26 P   | +19 |  52 S  | 33 H

S76 | 11 GP |  9 G  |  6 A  |   15 P   | +10 |  53 S  | 22 H

S77 |  4 GP  |  3 G  |  1 A  |    4 P    |  -2  |  12 S  | 10 H

------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Statistics
------------------------------------------------------------

World Championships:
S79 | 12 GP |  0 G  | 5 A |  5 P  |  -1  |  12 S  | 3 H
------------------------------------------------------------
World Juniors:
S74 | 15 GP |  6 G  | 3 A |  9 P  |  +2  |  16 S  | 10 H

S75 | 15 GP |  3 G  | 4 A |  7 P  |  +4  |  11 S  | 4 H

S76 | 15 GP |  4 G  | 7 A | 11 P |  -1  |  32 S  | 16 H

S77 | 13 GP |  4 G  | 7 A | 11 P |  +2  |  37 S  | 9 H
------------------------------------------------------------

Legacy:
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards

S74 |    WJC    |              Silver Medal            | Team ICE

S75 |  SMJHL  |            Four Star Cup           | Colorado Raptors

S75 |  SMJHL  |    Brodie Witzel Nominee   | Colorado Raptors

S75 |    WJC    |               Gold Medal             | Team Norden

S76 |    WJC    |               Gold Medal             | Team Norden

------------------------------------------------------------

League History:

------------------------------------------------------------
S74 | SMJHL Entry Draft |         3rd Overall         | Colorado Raptors

S75 |   SHL Entry Draft   |         3rd Overall         | Seattle Argonauts

Burlok Sulfurgold || DET || TEX || ATL || NEW || Hall of Fame || 2336 TPE

Season: 53 | Country: Germany | Position: Right Wing

Number: 86 | Height: 6'1 | Weight: 220

------------------------------------------------------------

SHL Statistics

------------------------------------------------------------

Regular Season:

S56-S73 | 1172 GP |  416 G  | 631 A | 1047 P

Playoffs:

S56-S73 | 230 GP |  73 G  | 99 A | 172 P

------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL Statistics

------------------------------------------------------------

Regular Season:

S52-S55 | 200 GP |  29 G  | 51 A | 80 P

Playoffs:

S52-S55 | 38 GP |  7 G  | 9 A | 16 P

------------------------------------------------------------

IIHF Statistics

------------------------------------------------------------

World Championships:

S53-S73 | 269 GP |  52 G  | 99 A | 152 P

World Junior Classic:

S52-S55 | 70 GP |  7 G  | 17 A | 24 P

------------------------------------------------------------

Legacy:

------------------------------------------------------------

Awards

S52 | SMJHL |              Laurifer Trophy            | Detroit Falcons

S53 | SMJHL |              Laurifer Trophy           | Detroit Falcons

S53 | SMJHL |               Four Star Cup              | Detroit Falcons

S53 | SMJHL |           Onoprienko Award         | Detroit Falcons

S54 | SMJHL |        Zach Miller Nominee        | Detroit Falcons

S57 |   IIHF   |               Bronze Medal               | Team Germany

S58 |   SHL   |            President's Trophy         | Texas Renegades

S58 |   IIHF   |              Bronze Medal               | Team Germany

S59 |   SHL   |         Cole Reinhart Trophy       | Texas Renegades

S59 |   SHL   |                Challenge Cup             | Texas Renegades

S61 |   SHL   |         Cole Reinhart Trophy        | Texas Renegades

S62 |   SHL   |                All-Star Team               | Western Conference

S62 |   SHL   |         Cole Reinhart Trophy        | Texas Renegades
S62 |   SHL   |                Challenge Cup             | Texas Renegades

S62 |   SHL   |              Jeff Dar Nominee          | Texas Renegades

S62 |   SHL   |        Anton Razov Nominee       | Texas Renegades

S63 |   SHL   |         Jay McDonald Trophy       | Texas Renegades

S63 |   SHL   |               All-Star Team               | Western Conference

S64 |   SHL   |    Mathias Chouinard Trophy   | Atlanta Inferno

S64 |   SHL   |               All-Star Team               | Eastern Conference

S65 |   SHL   |         Jay McDonald Trophy       | Atlanta Inferno

S65 |   SHL   |               All-Star Team               | Eastern Conference

S66 |   SHL   |            President's Trophy         | Atlanta Inferno

S66 |   SHL   |    Mathias Chouinard Trophy   | Atlanta Inferno

S66 |   SHL   |                Challenge Cup             | Atlanta Inferno

S66 |   SHL   |    Damian Littleton Nominee   | Atlanta Inferno

S68 |   SHL   |    Damian Littleton Nominee   | Atlanta Inferno

S70 |   SHL   |    Mathias Chouinard Trophy   | New England Wolfpack

S70 |   SHL   |                Challenge Cup             | New England Wolfpack

S70 |   IIHF   |                 Gold Medal                 | Team Germany

S72 |   IIHF   |                 Gold Medal                 | Team Germany

------------------------------------------------------------

League History:

------------------------------------------------------------

S52 | SMJHL Entry Draft |        22nd Overall        | Detroit Falcons

S53 |   SHL Entry Draft   |        19th Overall         | Texas Renegades

S63 |    SHL Milestone    |  500 Games Played   | Texas Renegades

S64 |    SHL Milestone    |  500 Points Earned   | Texas Renegades

S64 |        SHL Trade       |          Offseason          | Atlanta Inferno

S68 |   SHL Free Agent   |          Offseason          | New England Wolfpack

S71 |    SHL Milestone    | 1000 Games Played  | New England Wolfpack

S72 |   SHL Free Agent   |          Offseason          | Texas Renegades

S73 |    SHL Milestone    | 1000 Points Earned  | Texas Renegades

S74 |    SHL Milestone    |         Retirement         | Texas Renegades

S75 |    SHL Milestone    |        Hall of Fame       | Texas Renegades

An old lady walked into a pet store, found a parrot, and asked the owner if she could buy it. The owner said, "Heck no! That parrot has a bad mouth! Trust me - you do not want that parrot!"
She said, "I can teach it good manners." 
But, when she got home the parrot said a bad word, so she put it in the freezer for 10 seconds.
She took it out and said, "Did you learn your lesson?" It said another bad word so she put it back in for 30 seconds. She took it out and asked if it learned its lesson yet. 
The parrot said "Brr... Yes, I learned my lesson, but, what did the chicken do?"

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Russian, an Italian, a Swede, a Canadian, a Mexican, and a Texan went skydiving together.

The Englishman strapped on his parachute, shouted “Long live the Queen!” and jumped out of the plane.

The Frenchman strapped on his parachute, shouted “Vive la France!” and jumped out of the plane.

The Russian strapped on his parachute, shouted “Za Rodinu!” and jumped out of the plane.

The Italian strapped on his parachute, shouted “Bella ciao!” and jumped out of the plane.

The Swede strapped on his parachute, shouted “Heja Sverige!” and jumped out of the plane.

The Canadian strapped on his parachute, shouted “On guard for thee!” and jumped out of the plane.

The Texan strapped on his parachute, shouted “Remember the Alamo!” and shoved the Mexican out of the plane.

(It’s a history joke.)

RossCreations on Youtube has a ton of funny pranks. One of their pranks that I've incorporated into my own life is asking somebody if they have any extra food. When they say no, I give them my extra food. The look on their faces are always priceless.

Wednesday Addams || 478 TPE || Vancouver Whalers || Toronto North Stars

Drafted 21st overall by the Great Falls Grizzlies

Drafted 40th overall by the Toronto North Stars

------------------------------------------------------


Regular Season:
S69 | VAN | 66 GP | 8 G | 30 A | 38 P | -32 | 19:46 ATOI | 25 PIM | 196 H

S70 | VAN | 66 GP | 33 G | 36 A | 69 P | +1 | 20:29 ATOI | 20 PIM | 95 H

------------------------------------------------------
Highlights:
S69 SMJHL Hits Leader

Kentaro Kikuchi || 904 TPE || Regina Elk || Texas Renegades

Drafted 55th overall by the Regina Elk

Drafted 38th overall by the Texas Renegades

------------------------------------------------------

Regular Season:

S61 | REG | 66 GP | 14 G | 11 A | 25 P | -10 | 12:47 ATOI | 38 PIM | 88 H

S62 | REG | 66 GP | 18 G | 25 A | 43 P | -24 | 16:35 ATOI | 37 PIM | 74 H

S63 | REG | 66 GP | 29 G | 29 A | 58 P | +2 | 19:57 ATOI | 28 PIM | 106 H

S64 | TEX | 66 GP | 22 G | 28 A | 50 P | +12 | 18:56 ATOI | 14 PIM | 91 H

S65 | TEX | 66 GP | 25 G | 20 A | 45 P | -25 | 20:19 ATOI | 18 PIM | 98 H

------------------------------------------------------

Playoffs:

S61 | REG | 4 GP | 1 G | 0 A | 1 P | 0 | 14:00 ATOI | 0 PIM | 3 H

S63 | REG | 4 GP | 1 G | 0 A | 1 P | -3 | 18:18 ATOI | 2 PIM | 2 H

S64 | TEX | 13 GP | 3 G | 2 A | 5 P | -1 | 20:51 ATOI | 11 PIM | 15 H

S65 | TEX | 4 GP | 0 G | 0 A | 0 P | -4 | 19:21 ATOI | 2 PIM | 5 H

------------------------------------------------------

Highlights:

S62 SMJHL All Star

S62 WJC Bronze Medal

Robbed of S64 Jesster Nom

The best prank I saw recently was when one of my teammates put shaving in another one glove, skates and helmet. It was hilarious to see how he kept finding cream in new places.

34 words

Nor Ge

Salzberger Lillehammersson

Anders Christiansen

Code:

Your task: Tell me about a joke you know or have heard, a good prank you've seen, something funny that's happened here or irl. Reminisce about something that made you laugh. Let's get happy.

My go to joke would be "How do you host a space party? You planet."

My other joke would be "What did the beaver say to the tree? It's been nice gnawing you."

(33 words)

  

    

Thank you @Stadacona for the Chaewon player sig!

It's not a joke, but just tonight I saw my sisters and mom and new (fresh) niece. I went with my girlfriend to my sister's house. When we were leaving, I was carrying a bunch of stuff out to the car. My girlfriend asked, "Do you need any help?" to which I quickly replied "yep." and then she said "Okay!" And then walked to the car without helping. It was great.

Turns out she didn't hear me.

Rob Wright

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