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skyrrhawk · 10-28-2023, 01:43 PM

...A Short And Extremely Non-Exhaustive List.

Have you ever wondered what goes on in an SMJHL locker room?
What about in the locker room of the most chaotic team in the league in S73?
We of the Quebec City media have been compiling this list over the course of this SMJHL season, and with the regular season coming to a close, it’s time to post it.

No content contained in this article has been run by any member of the Citadelles organization. We have ceased attempting to contact their front office, as most requests for comment are ignored or derided by management, and also if they didn’t want any of this heard they would be a lot more strict about media access timing.

And if you want to experience for yourself what it's like to walk past the Quebec City locker room, we've set this article up as an interactive exhibit of sorts! Just so you all can understand what we go through to bring you this dedicated team coverage. Just click the song's title, and it'll take you through to the song.

So with that said and all that housekeeping out of the way, here’s the (again, nonexhaustive) list.

Friday, Rebecca Black
Usually heard on days that are not Fridays. This song seems to crop up most often as part of the pregame ritual when the team is leaving to travel after the conclusion of that particular game.
Notable Lyric: ….It’s Rebecca Black’s Friday. We aren’t dignifying this one with a “notable lyric”.

La machine a scorer, Bob Bissonnette
They listen to their own goal song?
Notable Lyric: Guys, it’s their own goal song. We’re also not going to engage with that.

Get’cha Head In The Game, High School Musical
This is a fair hype song. But you have to wonder: which team member is designated to sing Troy’s solo? Do they swap off whose responsibility it is on a given day?
Notable Lyric: ….Honestly, this bit didn’t go as neatly as it seemed it would on pitch.

GASLIGHT GIRLBOSS GATEKEEP, CyberGirlfriend & Baby Brat
Terrifying.
Notable Lyric: You think I’m jealous of your boring ass 9 to 5?

The Call, 2WEI & Louis Leibfried & Edda Hayes
Some gamers in the chat, as it were. The Call is a song from a League of Legends Season Cinematic. Do QCC's players run a LoL fivestack on their off days? What are their ranks? Who do they main? These are the questions the people want answers to!
Notable Lyric: …I give up on this.

PARANOIA, HEARTSTEEL
A second League of Legends song, this time from the companion boy group to K/DA. Very appropriate for a team that’s making a deep run on the backs of a huge group of rookie players; they’re certainly setting up nicely for the next couple of seasons.

Break Stuff, Limp Bizkit
It should be noted that this is the explicit version, as are all other songs we’ve heard and contributed to the ongoing shared spreadsheet. Apparently, Citadelles players don’t stand for censorship. Good for them.

Eye of the Tiger, Survivor
A locker room classic.

My Mother Told Me - Old Norse Version, Peyton Parrish
The person who contributed this noted that they recognized the song melodically, but could not recognize a single word. They thought they had had a stroke walking past the open door of the locker room. After checking on all versions we could find, we settled on this version, presumably contributed to the pregame playlist by one of the Solberg sisters.

ART IS DEAD, Bo Burnham
An odd pick for a room full of professional athletes, but who are we to criticize?

Homesick, Noah Kahan
Another odd pick for a pregame playlist. But since the only New Englander on the roster is rookie winger Celeste Desjardins, we’re going to assume they’re the one who contributed this song. (And also, they’ve been heard very aggressively singing the line “I’m mean because I grew up in New England”, so it cannot possibly have done anyone else.)

Bangarang, Skrillex & Sirah
Another song that frequently turns up on locker room pregame playlists. Everyone needs a little bit of classic dubstep in their hype routine.

Freed From Desire, Gala
Another song that’s got to be a Solberg contribution, as Sonja has frequently been heard singing an iteration of the football chant “[x] is on fire, your defence is terrified” to opposing teams on the ice when a teammate is on a hot streak. (The chant is derived from this song, in case that wasn’t clear.) Honestly, it's expert-level chirping from her.

Tick Tick Boom, The Hives
Someone on this team used to play Rock Band.

I’m Shipping Up To Boston, Dropkick Murphys
This one feels illegal, but it also sounded like it was being played off a phone rather than being over the speakers in the locker room. Probably Desjardins, as the remnants of a childhood warmup ritual. (Also worth noting it cut off as soon as the opening riff ended, so about 0:43 into the song.)

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, Lemon Demon
Dear God.

Boy’s a Liar Pt. 2, PinkPantheress & Ice Spice
We really have nothing to say about this one.

TITANIC, Jackson Wang & Rich Brian
“If you ain’t in first you in last place” is a crazy motto for a team that is, again, like 65% rookies.

Jopping, SuperM
We had to look this one up. And My God, what an experience. Are you confused by the title? We were, too. And so, for those of us baffled by it: “cause when we jumping and popping we jopping”.
Yes. That’s literally it. And it is in the lyrics. Do yourself a favor and give this a full listen. Preferably with the music video. And then go find the band trying to teach Ellen Degeneres to jop. It’s incredibly funny, if you can get past her extremely weird behavior towards them.
Actually, here. We’ll give it to you ourselves. Just to make sure you get the full experience here.

Everytime We Touch, Cascada
Again: do they alternate who sings the opening? We’re very confused by this one.

Know Your Enemy, Green Day
Intense song for the pregame playlist for a team that doesn’t fight much. We would have expected this to turn up on Bog Damsel’s personal pregame playlist, not the QCC locker room playlist.

Caffeine, Jeff Williams & Casey Lee Williams & Lamar Hall
Pretty good hype song, to be honest. This one’s going on the office team playlist.

MIC Drop, BTS & Steve Aoki
Another pretty lofty song for a team of rookies. But it seems to be working for them.

DESTROYA, My Chemical Romance
“I don’t believe in luck.” This team has curated a playlist of completely insane vibes and it damn well might carry them all the way.

The Touch, Stan Bush
Someone on this team either has an oddly eclectic taste in music or they’re really into Transformers. We’re going to guess it’s the second one.

Dare to be Stupid, Weird Al Yankovic
Someone on this team is really into Transformers.

I Wanna Dance with Somebody, Whitney Houston
Are you guys doing alright in there?

My Heart Will Go On, Celine Dion
This either got added on a lost bet or someone really enjoys Titanic.

Remember the Name, Fort Minor & Styles of Beyond
Another addition to the subsection of the spreadsheet titled “good god these kids are terrifyingly ambitious”. Do they switch off parts?

Queen of Kings, Alessandra
Eurovision viewers!

PONPONPON, Kyary Pamyu Pamyu
This triggered some dark and long buried memories in the journalist who heard and identified it.

Not Shy, ITZY
Does someone on this team know the choreography to this? What is going on in there?

TACTIX, EXO
Great that they have “tactix” in the locker room, but there’s a certain amount of tactics that are lacking on the ice. We’ll attribute it to youth.

Gimme Chocolate!!, BABYMETAL
My God.

Fame < Infamy, Fall Out Boy
A little bit of self awareness! Shocking!

Counting Stars, OneRepublic
Heard by the same contributor who heard PONPONPON. She was equally jarred by this song and refuses to walk past the QCC locker room during pregame anymore.

Alright. Listen. We know we said this list was going to be short.

But we just really needed you to understand what a weird experience it is to walk past the Citadelles’ locker room. The rookies are certainly to blame for a large amount of this. (What else would you expect from a group of kids who created a cult around their veteran netminder?)

(We know we said this would be short. It is not. We do apologize for that, however, it is still non-exhaustive.)

We’ll see if there’s a second installment of this next season. There might not be, as fewer and fewer journalists agree to go near the team’s pregame preparations. But if there is a second installment, at least you'll have a warning about what you're getting into when you open the article.

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