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S74 PT#1: Poindexter Painpoints
#46

Option 2:

Peter Tingle would happily help wear gear that’ll help the company improve their product. He is used to trying n new outfits with different capabilities during his own time so helping these companies out is a no brainer. You always want to continue to make your product better and more efficient so being able to find people who are willing to help out goes a long way. Peter wouldn’t want to be paid but would rather just be paid in gear. So whatever equipment it is that he gets to test for this company is his to keep when it’s all said and done. Saves him in the price of gear and they don’t have to dish out any extra money. Peter wants to start a trend of being able to work well with different companies and that starts here with these guys. Maybe this leads to future partnerships with other companies down the road.
#47
(This post was last modified: 12-06-2023, 10:53 AM by KaleSalad.)

Option 1:

In regards to the powerhouse that is the Philadelphia Forge there are many star players that come to mind. The likes of San-Sam Emerson, Evil AllBran, Ricky Koivu, or Graj Virrok. You can even look at some of the young stars that are making their mark on the team with Gnabe Dabson, and Tony Soprano, lost in all this mix is a player that seems to be a lowkey incredible second round pick for the Forge. Cale Salad. Since joining the team he has enjoyed the success and has been able to fill in and round out any of the lines that he is placed on. The strong and capable two way type player is a perfect setup man and is defensively responsible it allows him to be deployed in all types of situations including the penalty kill or the powerplay. After his rookie campaign he been around a point per game player. Never finished a season below +37 since joining the SHL. He is an underrated player on the forge and one to keep an eye on.

Code:
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some high fibre sigs are Powered by AllBran, 
#48

Code:
Option 1: Graphic Task: draw your player in their post-retirement career as a hockey statistician.

it took me longer to make this shitpost than it would've to just write 150 words

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sigs by me bitch



#49

Option 1:

Being underrated is just a fact of life for the Texas Renegades' Marton Diehm. After winning the Onoprienko award his last season in the J, he expected to be more on the radar in the big league, but he still doesn't get much love in the media. Despite falling to the second round and being drafted 24OA, he currently sits 9th in applied TPE for the S68 draft class (and 14th in earned TPE), making him the top left wing of his cohort. But he's stepped up even beyond that, converting a lifetime of winger experience to now be the center anchoring the second line for an ascendant Texas squad. No longer able to just grind it out in the corner, he's had to learn to command the faceoff circle and to balance his physical play with the demands of leading the line. His success here has led to time at the head of the second power play unit and the second penalty kill, while being the point man in 3-on-5 kills. He's an eye test player over a stats monster, and every GM will tell you how valuable that is in building out a roster.

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Sig courtesy @sulovilen


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#50

PT Pass

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#51

In the heart of Baltimore's hockey scene, one player quietly commands attention through grit and determination – Philip Fry, the unsung hero of the Baltimore Platoon's defense. While star forwards often hog the limelight, Fry's contributions are the glue holding the team together. In the early days, Fry faced skepticism, labeled as the unassuming underdog. However, his story began to unfold on the ice. Game after game, he displayed an uncanny ability to read the game, thwarting opponents with unmatched defensive prowess. His disciplined approach to play often goes unnoticed in the fast-paced world of hockey, but without him, the Platoon's defense would be akin to a leaky ship. Fry's dedication extends beyond the rink. His relentless work ethic during practice sets a standard for the team, inspiring camaraderie and instilling a winning mentality. Off the ice, he engages with the community, fostering a connection that transcends the game. As the unsung hero, Philip Fry embodies the spirit of the Baltimore Platoon – resilient, determined, and indispensable. His story is a testament to the fact that sometimes, the most valuable players are the ones who quietly redefine the game.

187 Words
#52

Option 2
The equipment for a goalie is very important and it should not change a lot. We take a great pride about our equipment and put a lot of money in it, so the less it's altered the most we like it. We try to break new gear through practice to be ready for game time and be able to move correctly and feel good enough to be at 100%.
If the analytic site tell me that it won't have an impact, I'm all for it! It would be fun to have a bit more stats for goalies to know stats about our reflexes, positioning and how we manage our rebounds from a certain point on the ice. Skaters have a lot of analytics data and I think goalies should have some too so yes I'm open to be a part of their experiment.
It would be fun to get out of my "confort zone" for this!

  
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#53

Code:
A local hockey analytics blog has singled out your player as being the most underrated on your team. Your task is to write that blog post! Have fun with it!

The Colorado Raptors are already looking much different from last year. The previous year's rookies are coming in full stride, and the new rookies from the most recent SMJHL draft are showing incredible promise. Fans all around have been speculating on who the best players on this roster are, but I have a different take on the matter. I think many fans are overlooking top line center Shadow Fenix. He leads the team in points with 11 in 7 games, and he also spends significant time on both the power play, and the penalty kill. Now many of my readers might be saying that everyone knows that Shadow Fenix is a stud, especially given the amount of media coverage he received in his last year. Couldn't rookies Pinli Switchbang, or Andrade La Sombra be considered more underrated? While those players are extremely talented, yes, everyone always looks at the rookies and recognizes their talent. Nobody recognizes the talent on the top line. And that's why Shadow Fenix is so underrated.
#54

Dear Playgirl magazine and Polo,

While I do appreciate your reaching out and asking me to wear these"performance enhancing" items, I respectfully refuse. The silk lace hair tie seems nice, but I just cant wear it. While I understand it will track my body temperature and change colors, I wear a helmet and it simply wouldn't make sense. I understand it is moisture wicking technology that would be handy in other applications, but I don't see why a hockey player would need such a thing. Upon further inspection, I see that this hair tie has three holes in it and it is in fact some sort of underwear. I'm flattered you believe my body would fit in this. The socks are also lovely, but our team and league has rules against us advertising. Please accept the return of this product, as well as the check for 13.56. Thank you very much.

Troy McClure


P.S. you can always send this stuff internationally to Czechia.


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Colorado Raptors Capitan S42-Until Forever!
Czechia Wants you! Ask about a transfer!!




#55

PT Pass

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Thanks @enigmatic, @Carpy48, @Bayley, @Ragnar, @sulovilen, & @dasboot for the signatures!



#56

Welcome to Renegade Review where this week we're going to talk about the most underrated player for the Texas Renegades. You may guess that it's Patrice Bergeron or fan favorite Pawter Meowski but we believe the most underrated player on the roster to be none other then Dirty Boots! Boots has been on the roster for quite some time now and had a rough start early in their career. They have never had a season where they stood out at the top of defenseman or skaters and have never been nominated for any awards. They had one appearance at the all star game as a voted in player as well. One thing they've managed to be is a consistent all around player. Boots is certainly a team player and continues to be that. They are starting to lose their top D factor with other members of the roster now stepping up and taking over like Hodor and Chris Valentine but Boots still plays a big part in Texas's success and appears to be continuing to do that this season. Every boat needs an anchor and Boots bring that in. He'll ensure this team stays in the positive and won't be flashy in order to prove that. All he wants is for his teammates to shine while he stands in the background ready to praise them up and hopefully someday bring them a cup.

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#57

Option 1

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Disclaimer: Mix of AI and some adjustments in Photoshop, was fun.

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#58

Most underrated on my team huh? Pretty sure I set the FHM points record last season and have been top of the team for 2 or 3 seasons. Does this person even watch hockey? But let’s go with the fact that I’m an underrated connosisour of fine meats and cheeses. Everyone knows about my love of cheese, regardless of the type, but did you know how well I can set up some charcuterie? Give me all the salamis, though the peppered salami is undoubtedly the best one available. But then we get som various prosciutto and can even dabble a bit in sausages. But you can’t have fine charcuterie without quality crackers. I’m a fan of the peppered (again) but garlic crackers can bring an extra level to many cheeses and meats. Through in some fresh grapes (green grapes obviously) and some mixed berries and you got something good. Oh and don’t forget the olives. Olives are a must.

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Sig credit: Ragnar, Carpy48, High Stick King

#59

Will Tomlander has been dismissed by the minds of many as a washed up prospect into the second year of his SMJHL career. With the other Detroit Falcons rookies, he is tied for 2nd in rookie scoring on the team in his first season, and was surpassed by second round pick Marek Carda in terms of point production. However, in his second season, Tomlander has started to show that scoring touch that made him so outstanding in the junior leagues. With 6 goals in 7 games, he has been effective on a line with Emil Karlsson and Kenny Omega, leading to the nickname of the "TKO" line. The other two members of that line also look to be having great seasons, and look to be a dangerous second line to match up against. Hopefully Tomlander can continue to score and demonstrate why he was worthy of being chosen second overall in the SMJHL draft, as the Falcons look to strike deep this off-season.

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#60

Option 2

Kristian Seppanen accepts the deal to sign on as a sponsor for the Fan Hockey Site TM equipment. While they're not paying a lot, being used as a tester to create better statistics for public consumption is sure to lead to Seppanen's name being plastered everywhere, which will help to ensure he signs bigger endorsement deals and can take a team friendly deal when his contract negotiations start back up. Furthermore, Seppanen is a firm believer in supporting the growth of hockey - and anything he can do to support more people watching, playing, and understanding the support, the more fulfilled he feels. Where it won't impact his performance, there's no real downsides, other than the potential lack of funding to the contract. Nevertheless, it's a risk he's willing to take.

The only restriction Seppanen is placing on the deal is a heart rate monitor...because Seppanen wants someone to be tracking how fast his heart beats when he scores the cup clinching goal at the end of the season.




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