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**RomanesEuntDomus** · 12-21-2023, 07:28 AM

Option 1:

Hm I guess I will have to be a bit of a buzzkill here because I really don't think trolling is something people should engage in. Yes, for many people the word more or less just means light-hearted and playful teasing, but I don't like how broadly accepted it has become to just be an ass to people for the sake of "trolling". It is poisining public discourse especially online, and often times people who claim to be "just trolling" aren't even doing so, they just got caught out being full of shit and then hide behind the excuse that they were just trolling anyway. Riling up people will trolling, in other words just making them mad for the sake of making them mad, is not a good thing and actually much worse than getting into a genuine argument with someone because of a honest difference of opinion. In the latter case, the people involved are at least honest and serious about their opinions and convictions.

*Eggcracker* · 12-21-2023, 10:35 AM

Option 2:

The Edmonton Blizzard have a fearsome one-two punch when it comes to goaltending. Evidently, as they led the team to a Challenge Cup victory in season 73. You don't become the most feared goalie tandem in the league overnight, it takes years of dedication, hard work, blood, sweat, and tears on and off of the ice. It is the culmination of all that hard work you do off the ice and in practice that allows you to perform at your best like its second nature when the big game arrives. One of the most effective drills that we run in practice is forming a positive relationship between the goalies and the puck, we want to make the goalies love the puck so much that they want to save it every single time. To accomplish this, we do a little roleplaying in practice, where a player will don a black latex body suit and go black face (we go all in) to roleplay as the puck, and the goalie will be in full gear, the puck and goalie will roleplay in several romantic situations to build a bond, and then be thrown into a Liam Neeson Taken type situation where the puck is pucknapped and taken away, this will create the insatiable need for the goalie to save the puck at any cost. This one single drill has been the sole cause of Justin Time's (@RAmenAmen) success on the ice.

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Juho · 12-21-2023, 11:02 AM

Dear fans who hare demanding me to be traded
I would like to be traded and have asked the yukon officals to trade me to a team called malmutes i hope they acctualy will trade me to the malmutes i hear the fans there aren't as toxic as in yukon i would also like to say that i have been playing extremly horrible in getting penalties and i would like to apagolize for it i will make sure to play better in the future at this so called skill of getting penalties (aka getting more penalties) i will also make sure to be more selfish to get more points for me and in the process ruin the score of the game in return of more points so you would have a happier time seeing me play dear fan i hope this is enough to make you happy and not keep you angry at me

Tesla · 12-21-2023, 12:21 PM

Affiliate PBE PT

Nictox · 12-21-2023, 02:51 PM

Option 2

It is the same thing every time. Me and the back up keeper staying late working on shootout drills. It is something i have always done since I was a little tot. You learn to shoot the puck, you learn to stick handle, and, most importantly, you learn to deceive. While I am not a sniper like my childish dreams originally wanted, I am still running these late night practices like I am still a small child. I have invited other players on the ice to help with screening and deflections in front of the net. Goalies hate letting a deflection go in during a game, so practicing this in a controlled environment can help them learn to read the tip. This is more of what I am trying to accomplish now on the Monarchs. Be the net front guy who cannot be moved but just may get that nasty tip in. While this may not seem like a unique thing, I failed to mention that we play full contact, goalies included.

[172]

RIP Dangel #AD26 | RIP TDZ

karlssens · 12-21-2023, 06:06 PM

Code:
Written Task: An old-school hockey media boomer of whatever type you dislike the most is complaining about your player and demanding you be traded. Everyone who knows what they're talking about is already calling him a moron, but you decide to get in on the fun. Using your player's burner twitter/X/whatever it is this week account, write a trollpost response designed to infuriate the boomer media host and his fans. The sillier the better. Your objective is to make him angry and make everyone else bust their guts.

It has come to my attention that my play on the ice as of late for the San Francisco Pride has not met an acceptable level as deemed by experts far greater than myself who are better equipped to judge the necessary skill level required to compete in the SHL. Moving forward I plan to adjust my game to better meet those targets. This includes finishing every single check, regardless of whether it take me out of position, and deliberately injuring the opposing team if necessary to remind them not to mess with my boys. As an up and coming premier power forward in this league I need to carry the torch of old school hockey, not shy away from it or try to transform it. Hockey is a rough sport so you better keep your head up at all times next time you're on the ice with the new and improved Oskar "old school" Scholz!

***hhh81*** · 12-21-2023, 07:00 PM

Prompt 2

M’Baku Olubori loves launching a good slapshot, but doesn’t always get the chance to do so in games. Deflections have also been an area where teams have been giving Sir Devoir conniptions for seasons now. The Baltimore defensive scheme keeps opposing teams further back, lowering the quality of shots. Still, a lot of deflection goals last year led our Pokeblock loving goalie to want to fix it. Now, almost every day in practice you can find Baku and another player taking turns smashing point shots toward Devoir, while the other tries to get a deflection past him. Devoir says the hardest combo is either Baku shooting and Adam Liebold going for the deflection or Philip Fry shooting and Baku screening him. Initially, the drill was frustrating for Devoir, but over time he’s gotten better and it’s shown in games. Sir Devoir is having the best season of his career as Baltimore is back to pre-Johnny Hamilton era levels of winning.

@WildfireMicro

*roastpuff* · 12-21-2023, 07:08 PM

***JR95*** · 12-21-2023, 07:50 PM

I can see why this guy wants Cormier traded! I mean, have you seen his two front teeth? Me Neither! Because he doesnt have any! Having Cormier arround significantly lowers the teams sexy/60 to a near unnacceptable level, single handedly. Without him, everyone is at least moderately sexy but with him around, the vibes are so off that everyones sex appeal drops by at least a dozen points just for being in his presence. Furthermore, Cormier is balding and we all know that amount of hair, or "flow" as the kids are calling it, is primordial to both hockey skill and the ever important sexy/60 stat. There's really not much you could do with Cormier to redeem him either. Some players can be saved by a cage or a brown paper bag, but cormier is so far down the fugly end of things that his only saving grace would be packing his shit and getting out of town as fast as he can.

BANACKOCK · 12-21-2023, 09:29 PM

@WBG, You think you're soooo cool strutting around online making articles like that don't you? Well, I got something for you. Friendly neighbourhood spider-man was out and about last night taking pictures and he got a couple of you at the local Mcdonald's, eating 22 junior chicken burgers Yeah! That's right, we got it all on camera and we're releasing the videos to your family and wife... right now! Go on.. go downstairs and take a look. Bet they're all sitting at the couch! You fat little shit! You cheated on your 3 day smoothie cleanse and now your entire family knows. You know they're going to be pissed! Your wife ain't going to be giving you nothing for quite a few nights.. enjoy the empty, cold sheets you bastard.

PS - I might have slowed down, but I'm chasing records. I could have left St. Louis but chose to stay! CAW CAW

***DrunkenTeddy*** · 12-22-2023, 02:16 AM

PT Pass

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soevil · 12-22-2023, 10:11 AM

ISFL Affiliate

*thiefofcheese* · 12-22-2023, 10:13 AM

Lacksamus does not generally engage with trolls like this on the internet. If you want to try to respond to all of these people it would be a full time job and aint nobody got time for that. Further, this is exactly what those people want. Wrestling with pigs and all that. But for the sake of getting my TPE I suppose I will humor it a bit and talk about what I would - theoretically - talk about in response.

In response to the allegations against my performance and the demands of being traded from NEW, I say "no". Just "no". I like cheese and crackers and there is no reason for a person that likes cheese and crackers to be traded. Trades are stupid anyway and I have a no trade clause in my contract so I would have to waive that and I do not think there is a situation where I choose to do that.

Rtpc31 · 12-22-2023, 10:31 AM

Here we go again with you boomers. Calling for a trade of Rence Sykut because you don't like how hard a guy celebrates his achievements on the ice with his teammates? Telling him to "just do his job" and skate to the bench with his arms at his side after another masterful connection by the Soup Line. Get lost gramps. Just because your generation's vision of "masculinity" is incapable of expressing neither positive nor negative emotion in any healthy form, doesn't make you the arbiter of how would should react to their successes. This is a game for fun and entertainment that brings joy to players and fans alike, but I understand that it is difficult for you to accept that somewhere, somehow someone besides you is happy. So please go back to doing what you Boomers do best. Namely, struggling to open email attachments and making off color remarks about how much you hate your spouse.

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MrPresident · 12-22-2023, 10:42 AM

Option 1

What kind of cold assed takes are these, man? The only trade we're making is one that sends you to the retirement home for a pale of pucks and a roll up the rim to win cup. And we'd be lucky to get that kind of return. (1/4)

Seppapen's already got more points and shots blocked this season than you did in your entire career. Remind me again where you peaked? Oh yeah, JrB. You couldn't even make it to the Js, ya bum. (2/4)

With ice cold takes like these, you're probably also the type of guy to think pepper makes food spicy. I'd give ya a break if you were trying to get views for your YouTube channel, but I don't think you even know how to navigate the platform. (3/4)

Ya know this isn't EA SHL 24, right? You don't just trade your captain away when you're on pace for the 3rd best season in franchise history. This team survived what feels like 100 seasons of you watching with your unwanted opinions, I think we can survive 1-2 of Seppanen's leadership. (4/4)

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