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Lemorse7 · 12-31-2024, 12:35 PM

happy nYE

***TomServo*** · 12-31-2024, 12:40 PM

Part 3
Armed with a flashlight and wearing three jackets I "borrowed" from the lost and found box, I ventured into the walk-in freezer. The temperature dropped faster than Burger King's Yelp rating, but I pressed on. Past the boxes of pre-frozen patties (a sight that would've been heresy in the golden days), through valleys of forgotten tater tots, I followed the trail of frost-covered corporate memos.
Then I saw him - the Burger King himself, his crown askew, his royal robe covered in freezer burn. He sat on a throne made of empty pickle buckets, using a stack of expired burger buns as a footrest. "Welcome," he said, his voice as cold as the freezer air, "would you like to try our new cost-effective, microwaved menu items?"

***TomServo*** · 12-31-2024, 12:40 PM

Part 4
"My liege," I cried, "what happened to your kingdom? To the flame-grilled glory? To having it our way?"
The King's eyes grew distant. "The suits," he whispered, "they came with their PowerPoints and profit margins. They said flame-broiling was 'inefficient.' That fresh ingredients were 'cutting into quarterly earnings.' They replaced my sacred flame-broiler with..." he choked back a sob, "...a microwave from Walmart."
He showed me a crumpled spreadsheet, its corners frosted over. "According to their charts, happiness doesn't increase shareholder value. They said my crown was a liability - something about it not being OSHA compliant."