We opened with the ‘Fox Sports One’ logo centered on the screen, and then pulled out to see two grown ass men in wife beater shirts, sipping on far too many energy drinks to count and rummaging through piles of Doritos for that ‘best one’. These men, of course, were hosts Jay Onrait and Dan O’Toole, both looking worse for wear.

Jay: Hi friends, we really appreciate you being here once again with us. Up next is the third game in a row we’ve had to watch and recap for you, from our other friends with the SMJHL. They really drove home a hard bargain when it came to our pod sponsoring.

Dan: Don’t get us wrong, we really appreciate the sponsor, but we should have read the fine print better! Had no idea we had to do these all back to back…how many more do we have??

Jay flipped through a few pages of notes and gritted his teeth.

Jay: This will be the halfway point of our arrangement, and nothing says fun like watching 15 hours of junior hockey consecutively.

Dan: Oh wow….anyways, who is up next??

Jay: Right now we get to bring you coverage of two teams we haven’t had a chance to see yet, the Prince George Firebirds as they travelled to wonderful pot-driven Colorado to take on the Mammoths. I really could use some of those wonderful brownies right now.

Dan: Aaaaaaaaaaand I’m sure the sponsors really liked that comment.

Cut to the swanky graphicz.

<div align="center">Game 60: Prince George Firebirds vs Colorado Mammoths

Game Link</div>
Dan: The goaltenders for tonight’s matchup are Ace Dafoe with the Firebirds, and Ekaterina Rudnikova for the Mammoths. Dafoe is giving top league goaltender, Ben Waters, the night off.

Jay: And you want to talk about a workhorse, Rudnikova has the most minutes of any goalie in the league right now. Maybe she deserved a night off!

<b><div align="center">First Period</div></b>
Dan: Pick this one up late in the first in a very even start, until an inspirational hit by the always loved, Poon Slayer, leads to offensive control and Taro Eichelele potting his fourth of the season past Dafoe!

Jay: Who doesn’t get inspired by a little Poon Slaying, Dan?

<b><div align="center">1. Colorado Mammoths, Taro Eichelele 4 (Trev Legend) at 16:47

Colorado 1 – Prince George 0</div></b>
Dan: The goal seems the strengthen the resolve of the Mammites, and just a buck thirty later, Master Maguku buries their second goal of the night off a beautiful zone entry and bullet pass by William Goddard!

Jay: Wax on, wax off, wax top shelf.

<b><div align="center"> 2. Colorado Mammoths, Master Maguku 4 (William Goddard, Matthew Leetch) at 18:18

Colorado 2 – Prince George 0</div></b>
Dan: The Firebirds seem shell-shocked for the rest of the period, and are happy to hear the buzzer sound to end the frame.

<b><div align="center">Second Period</div></b>
Jay: I need to call this next one. After Tapper Kottbulle, no idea how to pronounce that, gets nabbed for slashing early in the second, on the powerplay, your hero and mine, BEN DOVER, intercepts an errant pass from HUNKY MONKEY and gets its it to MAAAAAAAAAAAVERICK O’DOOOOOOOLEY who collects his own missed shot and buries it past a sprawling Dafoe!

Dan: I should have known you’d love that stat line.

<b><div align="center">3. Colorado Mammoths, Maverick O'Dooley 2 (Ben Dover) at 4:37 (PP)

Colorado 3 – Prince George 0</div></b>
Dan: The shock continues as the faces of the Firebirds say it all. The top team in the entire SMJHL is getting taken to task by one of the worst, and not even halfway through the game.

Jay: Which means there is more than half to go, which is plenty of time for this high octane offense to kick into gear.

Dan: And as if you saw the future…with five minutes to go in the period, Toms Shnekinsen gets the ‘Birds on the board, with a rocket from the right circle!

Jay: Why have one Tom when you can have Toms?

<b><div align="center"> 4. Prince George Firebirds, Toms Shnekinsen 4 (Tyrone Savage) at 14:31

Colorado 3 – Prince George 1</div></b>
Dan: The rest of the frame sees the pressure mount from the Firebirds, but ends with just getting the one back.

<b><div align="center">Third Period</div></b>
Jay: But just as you can say the word ‘comeback’, all hopes seemed dashed when Goddard picks up his second goal of the season, and second point of the night on an early Mammoths powerplay in the third. You can hear the wind escape the Firebirds just like Alex Reed’s blow up doll.

Dan: That’s the second package in a row you’ve used that joke…and the Raiders aren’t even playing?

Jay: Well it’s a great joke, people just don’t even know it yet.

<b><div align="center">5. Colorado Mammoths, William Goddard 2 (Frontdoor McGraw, Steven Stamkos Jr.) at 2:40 (PP)

Colorado 4 – Prince George 1</div></b>
Dan: The tables certainly turned back at that point, as that was the end of the night for Dafoe – the man he tried to give the night off, Ben Waters, comes back into the game!

Jay: It’s basically like telling your buddy you’ll help them move, then help move half their crap to their front lawn, and then take off. Thanks for nothing.

Dan: Frederick Boone is able to get one back for the Firebirds at the five minute mark, but that was all Rudnikova was going to allow over the rest of the final frame.

<b><div align="center"> 6. Prince George Firebirds, Frederick Boone 2 (Hunky Monkey, Johnny Pollak) at 5:08

Colorado 4 – Prince George 2</div></b>
Jay: Gotta give it up to EKats, she really came to play.

<div align="center">Final Score

Colorado 4 – Prince George 2

Three Stars: 1. Frederick Boone (1G) 2. William Goddard (1G 1A) 3. Toms Shnekinsen (1G)</div>
Dan: And the sim shits the bed with the three stars once again, I guess if you’re a plus two, get three shots and one hit you’re automatically the number one star around here? Time to use that deflating joke again, Jay.

Jay: I guess when you’re at the top of the standings people just assume you’re the best. I might have thrown my star behind the new hotness, Rudnikova, who really played a top game tonight, proving that she’s not only the minutes leader, but one of the top young goalies in the entire SMJHL.

Dan: And Waters looked pretty good in his 15 minutes of play time, stopping all nine shots he faced.

Jay: Time to line up nine shots for me if we’re going to do another one of these right away…

Dan: Only two more to go??

Jay: That’s right, only two more WONDERFUL, AMAZING, FUN-FILLED and ACTION-PACKED SMJHL games coming your way this season! We love our sponsors!