ZINAIDA TITOVA: PREGGERS????
Tramp hockey player pregnant, father unknown

Deadspin has an exclusive story to bring to you and it turns out that the Russian mobster queen is expecting! A photo revealed her pregnancy and revealed to us why her rookie year was such a bust. How does a mighty SMJHL captain fall so far? Why was there an entire thing on retiring and unretiring? We have those answers for you!



Deadspin has reached out to see what this almost teenage mother is doing and how she could be that irresponsible. There was nothing at first other than some curses in Russian that made everyone who understood blush. Eventually, after being rudely hung up on, Titova's agent called us back and we were given a press release about the situation. It reads as follows:

Zina's pregnancy is nobody's business but her own at this time. She has been in full contact with the Riot management during this time and has been focused on what is best for her and her future children. She is not naming a father at this time because she has yet to put a ring on him and is still convincing him otherwise. She would like to remind everyone that no, it is not Slava Orlov. There is no way in hell and she'd appreciate it if you would all kindly go away.

Anyone who does not obey this are subject to lawsuits and damages since this has been a medically difficult pregnancy and she is not screwing around.

Of course, we at Deadspin feel like insistence on it not being Orlov's will point him as the obvious choice. Good luck to the expecting parents and we wish everyone at home luck in your gambling pools for who this mystery father is.

...Wait, did she say children?