TASK ONE:
I decorated Flacko’s car for the big game. Why, you ask? Because it is in lame black and it is a mini-van! Nobody likes black mini vans! Those are basically rape vans! So I added a bit of a tune up! I put in some team decals of other teams around the league (in case we wanted to sneak around as another team’s bus or something), then spraypainted a big green circle because it is a subtle reminder that it is a Chiefs bus, go green! The I added red polka dots to add the red that is in the team logo, and then topped it off with a big spoiler that says GO CHIEFS on it. It looks pretty badass, even though it doesn’t really look like it would be another team’s bus. Just a Chiefs bus with a bunch of other team logos on it for some reason. I didn’t say I was logical!

TASK THREE:
Game one of the Challenge Cup Finals starts tonight, pitting the Toronto North Stars against the Portland Admirals. The crazy thing about these two teams is neither has won a cup, yet! Portland because they are an expansion team that hasn’t been around for terribly long, and Toronto because they are TERRIBLE! Watch as some great names like Cynthia and Pedro square off in a battle of finesse, strength, and all around ability, and wonder why neither of these teams is the favorite to win because neither of them have won a Challenge Cup! Have I mentioned that yet? Either way, with the Admirals coming back after failing in the finals last year, they are probably going to lose again this year due to them being terrible and a bunch of chokers. The North Stars will probably lose because it’s Toronto. Either way, come tune in at 6 and watch the madness.

TASK FOUR:
My choice for the Challenge Cup MVP is Pedro Sarantez. The big thing that I would point to as to him being my MVP is the fact that he is like the only guy that I know on that team. Other than that, he is a veteran, and veterans always win MVP awards because of their leadership, and Sarantez was leading the team in points at one point. Not sure if he is anymore. But he scores a lot as well, and you need to score goals if you want to win games, something he excels at. Also the Admirals don’t really have anyone else who isn’t being propped up by Sarantez, so if you were going to name an MVP out of that team, you would name Sarantez, no doubt. Even if the Admirals lose I think Sarantez should be the MVP, just because of his history as a competitor in the playoffs.

TASK SIX:
Come to the Challenge Cup viewing party! Featuring special guest Hulk Hogan, who will be calling you brother every second of every day, Seal, the greatest singer in the history of ever, and Alonzo Garbanzo, the greatest player to ever play! Featuring great events such as a dart tournament where you literally throw darts at things and a judge guesses a winner, an LAN party where you play Overwatch because that is what the kids are into, a silent auction, because everybody likes snooty auctions, and finally a literal fighting tournament where guests can fight to the death for prizes! With all these fun events happening, why would you not come to this amazing extravaganza!?