Otis B. Driftwood is ready.

Many a martini has been shaken, not stirred and subsequently poured down the throat of this awesome hockey predator. Many a sumptuous feast has been consumed. Many a restaurant bill has been ducked through the use of the ole film flam. Escapades, too numerous to recount here have been lived. Women have laughed, cried, sang and gasped in both horror and passion.

Otis B. Driftwood is ready.

Ready to stand with his teammates, his chosen compadres, his brothers and sisters. Ready to assert his will upon lesser men. Ready to utilize his agile mind to outwit his adversary. Ready to share in the joy, frustration, toil and hardship that every season must encompass.

Otis B. Driftwood is ready.

He has trained in a style handed down to him by his wise mentor Slappy McDoodle. McDoodle has shown him secret ways and means. Tutored him in the eclectic and diverse style with which he drove his own career. Slappy, wise master that he is, has encouraged Otis to grow beyond his master. To take what the teacher has to give as a starting point, an evolutionary spark that ignites an inferno of learning and creativity.

Oh yes, Otis B. Driftwood is most definitely ready SHL.

Are you?