TASK #1: So, Stavros - what are your intentions and hopes for this series against the Vancouver Whalers

Stavros: The Whalers are a weak team. There’s absolutely no way they will beat us in a series … hell, there’s no way they will beat us in one game! you’ll see. We will come out guns blazing, and we will pot too many goals to count. 

So, it’s safe to say you’re feeling confident?

I guess. There’s no “confidence” involved. I’m just being realistic. Our plan is to plow through the Whalers, and whatever team is unfortunate enough to face us in the second round with see the same fate. I guarantee it. 

What if you lose though? I mean, the Whalers beat you guys in all of your games this season, Aren’t you being a little overzealous? 

Listen bud, I’m not being over-anything. Maybe I’m over fake news so called “journalists” like you who obviously cannot comprehend that we are going to SWEEP Vancouver. Thanks, I’ll show myself out…


TASK #2: 

The first and most notable player of the finals: Montreal’s Oliver Klozoff.. He leads the entire playoffs in points with 15. He has a chance to seal the deal as a playoff MVP. The question is, can he KEEP producing like this?!?!? 

The second most notable, and certain the most “talked about” is Ravyn Tedisko, who amassed 34 hits in twelve games - many of them being absolute game changers. This series is going to depend on physical play and who wants to sacrifice more - personally, my opinion is Montreal will take it, provided Tedisko is on his game.

The third most notable is Anaheim’s Mathias Seger - Seger is not known for his scoring prowess, but in this tight series, he has managed to block more shots than any other player. He’s blocked shots with his shins, his wrists, and on one occasion, his neck! I wouldn’t be surprised if he is still banged up from last series - though he is not discussed nearly enough as i believe he should be, he gets the nod for third most notable player. 

The fourth most notable player is of course, Aleksi O’Koivu-Volkova. AOKV has posted a league leading .911 SV% in this playoffs - he is on an absolutely stellar run as the best goaltender in the playoffs. He is the third of the three-headed monster: Klozoff-Tedisko-AOKV. 

The fifth most notable player: With a .909 save percentage, it’s obviously the man at the other end of the arena, Tibuk Soonika. Soonika absolutely STOLE the series against the heavily favoured St.Louis scarecrows. The only way Anaheim wins this series is if Soonika plays lights out. 

TASK #3: 

OUTLAWS vs MILITIA: GAME 6 SUMMARY 

The Anaheim Outlaws plan to stay alive in this game 6. Outlaws lose, they’re OUT - if they win; one more shot at redemption. The first period saw a scoreless 20 minutes, with the Militia outshooting the Outlaws by a final count of 10-2 - not the start that Anaheim wanted. Finally, Soonika cracks - Militia draw first blood. Shepard pots his fifth of the playoffs with helpers from Skottsson and the elusive Klozoff. The unlikely hero - Gunnar Petrov pots his third of the playoff and the underdogs TIE the game 1-1. Not even FIVE minutes into the third period and Osbert Whacker feeds Jerry Mander who chucks it to Seemu Telanne for a GOAL! The OUTLAWS are up 2-1! However this would not last, as Marc Hagan absolutely ripped a dirty clap bomb top cheddar - bar down. 2-2. The time ticks to zero - folks - game SIX OT. 
 GOAL! A juicy rebound and …. CHUCK GOODY III BURIES HOME THE GAME WINNER - TIE SERIES - WE’RE GOING TO GAME SEVEN. 

TASK #4: 

blank 


TASK #5 
The most significant instagram post this season:

The picture: Sweat drips onto a black rubber mat - A stocky man with rather freakishly large and vascular calves can be seen pedalling away on a stationary bike. His bald head glistening from the radiant light, and the “dog” snapchat filter covers his toothless face. It appears that the digital clock in the background says “5:05”. Stavros has greek pasta on fridays at 4:30 - there’s no chance this is in the evening - he put in work at 5 AM.. he’s serious. The first caption reads “this year will be different” a random assortment of emojis litter the caption - the swiss cheese emoji, the clown emoji, and the eye emoji. the following caption says “I’m coming for you… decode me”. Stavros Halkias is obviously very prepared to come back in FULL force next season - the question begs: What do the emojis mean? Can Stavros keep this up? What is his snapchat?