Hey Kids. This is Ricky Spanish, and I'm here to scare you straight. Before I was a bona-fide SMJHL superstar, I was involved in the seedy underworld of unorganized crime. I spent my days not plotting or scheming, but commuting random acts of thievery and thuggery all across the eastern seaboard. I would steal mail from peoples mailboxes, trip the elderly in crosswalks, and graffiti the inside of churches. I once convinced a junkie to conspire with me to commit mail fraud. I evaded my taxes and laundered money through a pyramid scheme focused on injecting adolescents with PCP. Did I make good money? Absolutely, but I destroyed a lot of lives. It was a job, I'll tell you what, but it really prepared me for my career as a professional junior hockey player. Now I destroy lives out on the ice, instead of in the community.