When Teddy Cuddles was looking for players to take under his wing as a part of the Simulation Hockey League Big Brothers Program, nobody stood out more to him than none other than Nikolaj Muller of the St Louis Scarecrows. The young winger looks good on the ice but he has only one brain cell which he shares with the "Nipple Nuggey Hivemind", so he'll need some help when it comes to life skills. The first thing I tried to run him through was how to operate a toaster. One would think this would be pretty easy, but Muller could not even put the bread in the toaster and instead started repeating the phrase "madonald hanburger" over and over again. Next, I moved onto tying shoes, which Muller also struggled on. He sat there with the laces in his hands, laughing like Mr. Krabs: "AGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAAGA". Lastly, I moved onto brushing his teeth which he also refused to do as he just wanted to watch Indian Tic Tocs instead. The youth of our world is truly screwed. @esilverm