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1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
VIP Status babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Tampa or Games 3 and 4 in Calgary? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up Eggy's tab?? (This is the same prompt as last year but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season)

I'll be going to Tampa Bay because who the fuck would want to go to Calgary. I don't want to huff oil, their shit isn't even the good type. A weekend paid for by the commissioner? It's not even one of the top 5 Canadian cities and I'd rather keep paying for myself to live in Chicago than to hop on a plane there for free. Absolutely going to the sunniest spot and probably won't even show up to the games cause I couldn't give an absolute fuck about either team's success. I'll just tell Eggy that I need 4 tickets, pawn them off and buy a bunch of pints to have while on the beach. Probably can get some good coke down there since it's Florida and you don't have to look to hard to find a Florida man who is hanging onto coke. Who knows, maybe Ill take a trip to disney world after or some shit.

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2. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min)
After a slow start to the regular season, the Dragons have surged of late and have rallied around the #CalgaWe notion of togetherness. On the other side, the Barracuda battled through a difficult East and are led by a very strong young core. Which team are you personally rooting for to take home the Challenge Cup and why?

Lmao I'm gonna be rooting for the Barracuda cause "CalgaWe" is one of the dumbest sounding fucking slogans I've ever heard. My ballsack receded into my body upon reading that. I'm going to have to go to the strip club to try and forget about this. You're on the hook for my tab. I really like Esa and honestly like the Dragons as a franchise so I really wish you hadn't told me about this. That's fucking terrible and I hope they lose so we never have to hear some shit like that again.

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5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Due to some controversial calls during the playoffs, the league is looking at updating the current rules(icing, offside, etc) What new rule or change to a room would you implement to better the game?

If I was to think of a new rule to implement to better the game, it would be that any member of the league who sucks will never win anything. The administrative board (headed by me of course) will receive applications from each team in the league with a list of their roster and why each of their players does/does not suck. I will then decide whether that member is shit or not and then decree whether or not they are allowed to win. Teams will be able to trade the shit member for a member that is less shit to attempt to reinstate their status as a team eligible for winning.

This new rule will coincidentally benefit Chicago and Lethbridge greatly as all the members who aren't on either of those rosters suck so it seems that the cup will by default go to both organizations unless the management teams decide to make some major changes.

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13. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.
A. Each team enters these finals with a red hot superstar - longtime league legend Mike Izzy for Calgary and surprise breakout star Gunnar Soderberg for Tampa Bay. Which of these players will have a more dominant finals?

Gunnar Soderberg has to take the cake for this one and there's no doubt about it. No disrespect to the augment, but he's lacking something that Gunnar has. Soderberg has that mom strength and to all those who are unfamiliar - you'll find out soon enough. I'd look for Soderberg to use that mom strength to propel the Barracuda past the Dragons.

B. Kata Vilde and Benjamin Blue are two of the best goaltenders in the league - which team has the advantage in net?

This question is patently false and I refuse to answer it. Neither of these goaltenders are two of the best goaltenders and I have no respect for them, so I'm going to have to go ahead and say that neither team has an advantage in net. They're just going to be praying that their sieve happens to let in less goals than the other team's. The only goalies I have respect for in the SHL are Carpet, Soonika, Nadeau and my boy Sorokin. Feel bad for everyone else.

D. What's your favorite player NAME on either team? why? (note: not who's your favorite player. which player name)

Esa Parmborg, duh. As I've briefly mentioned before, I don't like anyone else on either team so that kind of ruled out everyone. And now you're redirecting me back to the question, but the relation is that if I don't like a person then I don't also like their name. I don't dislike someone and then go "but respects cause they got a dope name". Esa's first name is legendary cause it's Esa. Then on the back end he's like half Ray Gillette borg and half Parm, which are both fantastic things.

E. If you could choose any one of the following four options, which would you pick? 1. A chicken parm sandwich from Esa 2. A tray of cookies from c00kies 3. A custom feet pic from JSS 4. An hour long stick and puck session with Jepox

Fucking none of them, they all suck. If I wanted a chicken parm I'd go down to the Deli around the corner that serves better chicken parm. I don't know why I'd get one from Esa, he loves to eat them but that speaks absolutely nothing towards his ability to make them. Cookies from c00kies are worth nothing to be because I have Pillsbury christmas ones in my fridge. 3? No. 4? Who?

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15. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)
A. As defined by draft class, who is the oldest player in this series?
B. What is the name of the Calgary Dragons' Arena?
C. Name 3 previous names of the Tampa Bay Barracuda franchise
D. From these two teams, which player had the most PIMs in the S50 regular season? (Look, I'll even give you a link to the index right below this code box. When I posted the link directly, it auto-corrected the colon + slash into a partial frown face; it looks funny and the link still works so i'm leaving it)

**Important**: Send the answers to username "PT Director" with the subject of the message titled “S50 CW" - Do not send it to my personal account; those will not be graded. Do not post the answers in here; you will not get credit for the task.

SENT IN TRIVIA