S50 Championship Week
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![]() Registered Oh Short One
Task #2 (2 TPE): Well, I was (obviously) rooting for Tampa Bay, since I am a member of the team, but moreover I was really pulling for us so that that room could get the cup and get the chance to feel that success. There are some amazing personalities in that locker room (s/o to my baby crew, Jess, Jenny, Evans, Kala, y'all the real ones), both fresh faces and veterans, and I really would have loved to help bring them a cup. Also, on a slightly more selfish note, especially after the whole trade and aftermath, it would have been cool to prove a point, but oh well. We'll be here at the top for a while, I'm not too concerned.
Task #3 (3 TPE): I think we should stop using scoring as the marker for winning games in the playoffs. Who cares if you can put a puck through someone's legs? That shit is for weenies. Let's start measuring wins by hit numbers. That would make games so much more interesting and entertaining. You could do it either by aggregate hit count across all the players on a team or by whichever team has the single player that had the most hits of the game. This would also incentivize fighting, as we could consider each punch in a fight a hit. Physical play should be the focus of hockey anyway, who gives a shit about people just moving back and forth, we can get that in any sport. Boring ! Having something like this would truly rejuvenate the sport. It'd be absolutely fantastic for viewership and growing the league. Who wouldn't want to see something like that? Task #5 (3 TPE): In the same vein as the above, no more penalty minutes for fighting. We have to encourage these lads to stand up for themselves! If we were to get rid of penalty minutes for fighting, we would definitely see more people willing to drop the gloves in defense of each other and themselves. And in the end, isn't that really just what good old hockey is about? We love to see it. Like I said before, physical play should be the focus of hockey anyway, and again, it would greatly improve viewership and viewer interest in the game. This is obviously in the league's best interest. This would also be quite preferable under the new system I proposed for the playoff format. We don't want to penalize people for things that would certainly help them win the game! Let's bring back hitting, kids. We'll be the world's premier sports league before we know it. Task #6 (3 TPE): This is a common answer, but certainly a justified one. The easy person who comes to mind for me is Robert Phelps, of the Hamilton Steelhawks. He's an absolute legend of the league, both as a player and as a person, and it is a complete disgrace that he's never won a cup. There were certainly moments in Hamilton's history since they've drafted him where I was sure they would get it done, but here we are. And I have to say, I do feel a little bit guilty this time around - we were the ones who knocked them out of the playoffs. That's my old team and that's my friend, so I can't say it was the easiest thing to do. I know he's going to win a cup at some point before he retires though - he has to. There's hope in the future since Hamilton is a growing team, but honestly, it's a complete shame that he doesn't have like 3 by this point, because he definitely deserves it. Task #8 (2 TPE): What kind of question is this? Me, obviously. For as much as I wasn't one to toot my own horn with Volkova, I'll sure as shit do it with O'Koivu, because I am the proud mother of an absolute goon. I want to win as many Turd Fergusons as possible in my career. I know that I can pull this off because my management team supports my gooniness in its fullest capacity - they know exactly what they traded for. Everyone on this team is very supportive and loving of me wanting to beat the everloving shit out of people - Tampa Bay is a lovely place. And I've been building towards this moment, both metaphorically and literally with my TPE - I have to make this happen. I guess it'd be cool to win a Biscuit too. Hmmm. But that's about, like. Skill and shit. I don't think O'Koivu has it in her to actually be productive in any capacity (this season's playoffs was a fluke). So let's just stick to trying to win "Best Bully" awards. Task #15 (3 TPE): Submitted ! |
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