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mxman991 · 02-21-2020, 07:42 PM

Archeologists have recently discovered and translated a stone carving celebrating the victory of the phSHL (Pre-Historic SHL) club Stonesmasher tribe over the Big Scary Bear Tribe. This 700 word inscription is ready for academic review, grading, and payout.

KIDLINIRMUIT, CA. (NAP) Big Hammer scored a tie-breaking power goal using a powerful stab with his club with daylight remaining in the late light time to lift the Stonesmasher Tribe to a 4-3 win over the Big Scary Bear Tribe on last few night ago.

The Big Scary Bear Tribe had tied the score with a goal by He who lay by Stream on a power play of their own just a little time before current time. But Big Scary Bear Tribe was called for a hooking penalty with little daylight remaining when their snow pile Guardian was found to be sleeping with another tribe members woman. The Stonesmasher Tribe won the right to execute the Guardian which made it easy to score the winning goal with just little time elapsed on the penalty.

"That was key moment at 3-3 where they had all power, but Guardian sleep with mans woman, easy penalty call for us," Stonesmasher leader Hnitch Sabatch said. "We got back on feet, we started to attack, yelled penalty, and score when we kill Guardian. Big goal, big win, important start to the foot trip."

Goatman had a goal and an assist in the beginning of the game as the Stonesmasher Tribe got off to a fast start after a nine-day hangover. He who shit in stream and Man who drink from only Stream also scored for the Stonesmasher Tribe. Big Hammer assisted on both early day goals, and Stonesmasher Tribe improved to 2-1-1 since Sabatch replaced the slain Tryanything Once as leader.

Man who try to eat shoe, and Man who lose shoe each had a goal and one assist, and Small Hammer also scored for Big Scary Bear Tribe, which had won two in a row before this game. Man who loves other’s women made 33 saves as the Big Scary Bear Tribe overcame their slow start but couldn't finish after he was slain.

"It's terrible," Big Scary Bear Tribe leader Rodsfeelgood said. "We don’t know where we replace Man who sleeps with other’s women, we pretty sure season will be over in now.”

With both teams playing for the first time since the small freeze incident, the Stonesmasher Tribe looked fresh while the Big Scary Bear Tribe were sluggish in the early day of game. Stonesmasher had 13 of the first 15 shots on goal, and Big Hammer opened the scoring by slamming home a goalmouth feed from Definitely a man not a woman just early into the game.

Man who try to eat shoe made it 2-0 at not early day but not late day time when he caught Big Scary Bear Trieb flat-footed during a line charge, received a pass from Man who lose shoe just past the Big Scary Bear Tribes snow pile Guardian and threw the stone into the snow bank.

"It's the key time of year," Big Hammer said. "We needed win before big freeze come after small freeze, so it was important we win”.

Stonelover halved the deficit with the only goal of the second period when he converted the rebound of a miss by Stonelicker.

Stonelover extended the Stonesmasher lead to 3-1 in early late day time before Man who eat soe and Goatman quickly answered to tie it. The crowd came to life as the home tribe suddenly had an opportunity to win after trailing for almost the entire game.

But the Stonesmasher Tribe weren't rattled and struck back for the game-winner.

"Obviously at 3-1 in the late part of game to close that game out," Big Hammer said in an incredibly articulate way. "But they're hard-working tribe. You've got to give credit to them. They came back, but good teams find a way to win. And we did by killing the Guardian"

NOTES

Big Scary Bear Tribe has been a model of durability this season, becoming the first SHL team in history to have 13 different players survive more than 2 games. This bodes well for their late season push as they will likely have one person who still understands what the game is.

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