A piece by michael fitted


For this upcoming season I'm trying to prepare myself physically it's my first stab at the beast known as the SHL and that being said ive handled this off season with much urgency so let's get to it. Every morning I've gotten up and played the music from rocky while washing down 712 eggs raw and fake fighting dragons just to loosen the bones up once finished with that it's time to pray to my terry bradshaw statue and stretch. Now that ik nice and limber its straight to my local bar to talk to local fans who knows way more about hockey than any player coach or GM ever could and it's from these fans I get the answers I'm looking for. One man told me "that phineas gold is trash how the hell did he get drafted" I responded your right sir he is about as useful as tits on a bowl such knowledge these fans have so refreshing. Another man told me "ha phineas gold is horrible worst player ever " it was at this moment the phineas bashing was in full effect and I couldent have been happier. You see phineas gold left me in pbe all by myself my supposed rival just up and left and these fans knew that was a horrible thing to do they actually have scheduled for phineas and myself to have a fight here next week before the season starts I for one am looking foreward to it. With such a wealth of knowledge of how bad at everything including going to the bathroom on time phineas gold is I connected with these fans on such a higher plane of understanding it's like we are apart of the same mind. The last fan I talked to made it a point to get what he had to say off his chest "phineas gold plays more like nipples are cold" i think what he meant by this was phineas is something I don't fucking know but that guys on to something for sure. Well I didnt really train today huh fuck it at least we got to hear from the people and that's what really matters