1. The multiverse is an infinite expanse of possibility. All things are true, somewhere. In that spirit, allow me to lift the veil before your eyes and make clear why the Dragons rule.

Season fifty three unfolded like so many seasons before it, with the Calgary Dragons making the Challenge Cup finals. Going up against their long time nemesis the Buffalo Stampede, the series promised to be one to remember. Bettors favored the Stampede going into the series. However they were unaware of the determination and focus of all star defenseman Otis B. Driftwood.

Otis B. Driftwood was not about to lose to a team from the armpit of New York State. Chicken wings do not a city make. Let’s face it, Buffalo is a dank cesspit of decrepitude and squalor. The Bills losing in four straight Super Bowls is about the best thing that ever happened to that town. They hang their hats on a bunch of losers.

Anyway, long story short, the Calgary Dragons kicked the ever living shit out of the Buffalo Stampede and everyone lived happily ever after.

2. The top teams will largely be the same as this past season, I would think.

I certainly expect Calgary to be at or near the top of the West. We have excellent depth up and down the lines. We have a ton of tpe and experienced users. We are motivated and active. Esa and Mike Izzy are smart gms’s willing to take some chances.

Edmonton will be excellent again. They have so much talent throughout their lineup. Their stars are household names at this point.

The Los Angeles Panthers have proven themselves to be top contenders. Wasty and JT are excellent managers. Mook is running their lines with great results.

In the East, I am sure the villainous and dastardly Hamilton Steelhawks will find a way to manipulate the sim enough to be successful. Recently of course, they came to the realization they could never be good or even decent without cheating and gross manipulation of the sim. They have since gone about tearing the league down to it’s foundation and rebuilding it in an image they were comfortable with. Cheating is the Hamilton way after all.

4. My new award would be called the Stevens award. It would be awarded to the best defenseman in the league. You may think this award already exists in the SHL. You would, however, be wrong. The award we have now, judging by who wins it most years, is entirely an offensive award for defensemen, which is completely idiotic. The Stevens award as it exists now is given to the defenseman with the most points at the end of a given season. Why is the defenseman award given to the top point scorer you ask? Because the awards committee are a bunch of morons, that’s why.

Some dipshit thought it would be a good idea to create a new award. Thus the Bojo Biscuit award for best defensive defenseman was born. This is like an award for the wettest water or the sweetest sugar. While I loved my old teammate Bojo Biscuit and have no problem with an award named after him, this is just a travesty and something we as a league should be ashamed of.

12. two man 4 tpe pod https://soundcloud.com/mesbonk/big-slappy-s53-cw-pod1



16. Rimjob