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Hamilton propsect Andrew Kostitsyn's brother Sergei is missing. For the 2 people who care in the entire world, this is critical earth shattering news. Sergei, as we all know, was born deaf mute and blind. Only knowing an existence of pain and suffering, Andrei put some hockey pads on Sergei and used him as a goalie. Eventually one of the pucks hit in just the right exact place that all of his senses came rushing in at once. He panicked and ran off into the woods, where he was raised by jackrabbits. That's where Sergei got his speed, and learned to put up points. But now he's missing again. Mister Fluffybottoms of the jackrabbit tribe says he hasn't called or carroted with us in years. Vegas police eventually called saying he was shooting hoops with Dennis Rodman. All good. I stood by the phone to help find him, where's my reward. Give me TPE.

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HoldMeCloserTinyPenis