verification word: spook


When considering a goalie matchup in the S55 Challenge Cup Finals, the New Orleans Specters undoubtedly have the edge with Aleister Cain in net. I know this because Cain was vital in the whole sweeping thing that New Orleans did. Totally clutch. Everyone said so while livetexting the sim in NOLA chat.


Being asked to choose a better Johnson is very hard for me, as I love and appreciate both Gabriel and Darnell, having played on Anchorage with both and with Darnell now. I will have to go with Darnell, though, out of loyalty and also because I'm pretty sure the meme is to make fun of Gabe.


While I usually stan team stats as a concept, it would seem that win-loss record is the deciding factor here. New Orleans didn't let Hamilton win in the regular season, and we were gonna be fucked if we let them do so even once during the finals. Sweep sweep, motherfuckers.


I'd love to support tourism in a Canadian city, but no one has ever sold Hamilton to me as a vacation spot, and I've already been to Ontario, so I gotta vacation in New Orleans. I'm told it's a lot of fun, like, getting drunk in the street and looking at spooky things or something.


I'm not going to be deep about this one, not least because I don't know how to read the sim in any great detail - so Lil' Manius is undoubtedly New Orleans' MVP in the playoffs, having notched a team-leading 21 points and a remarkable (probably) plus/minus of +16 with an average time on ice of 21 minutes. That's a lot of ice time, and it wasn't scrub ice time - it was productive as fuck, and totally was vital to New Orleans doing the whole winning thing. I'm not gonna lie, though, I did think Lil' Manius was a defenceman? I don't know why I thought that. Anyway, MVP!


Well, the ultimate goal of the season is always to win the Challenge Cup, and Olivier did that! For the first time in his career! That feels pretty fucking special, especially after being offloaded to NOLA after dedicating so much hard work and love to Tampa Bay. And he didn't just get carried, either - he contributed a solid 18 points in the playoffs, including some clutch goals. And that was on top of a personal best regular season, notching a pretty insane 55 points. New Orleans has really agreed with Olivier - I think his success can be attributed in part to being happy living with his boyfriend, in part to working hard to fit in on the team and prove his worth, in part to great coaching, and in part to having a really good team to slot into. Next season, Olivier will attempt to somehow top this season - but it's going to be pretty hard!


You say we have a better sense of how IIHF may go this season, but that really assumes that I paid attention last season, and I didn't. Well, I maybe did a little now that I'm typing this. Team Great Britain didn't win, I'm pretty sure of that. Wait, did we win bronze? I think we did. I'm going to assume we did and thus that we're good in FHM and that we will be EVEN BETTER this season. Gold, here we come. I have faith. I'm also told big teams have a better chance - like, I think Canada was really good last season, as predicted, so that will probably happen again. Was the USA any good? I feel like they were supposed to be but weren't. Even if that's not the case, I'm going to claim that that's what will happen this season. Leggo, international hockey! Team Great Britain is GOLDEN, baby.


Forget stats, I'm going to be biased as FUCK for this one because I haven't mentioned Jimmy Slothface by name for this entire championship week and that's a crime considering when he was a rookie I did an entire CW solely about him. And now he's actually good! And he's in the hall of fame of both Olivier's heart and mine, so I claim that he should also be in the SHL's hall of fame, because he's perfect and amazing. And also has one zillion TPE. I know HOF bids often depend on individual awards and stuff and I don't know if Jimmy has those, and I don't care. Put him in the Hall of Fame. I love him. Thanks, bye.