Khm Khm…. Emmmmmm…. Greetings everyone! (Heavy microphone screetch) Ammmmm… I am Chris…. I mean Goodname…. I mean Chris Goodname. Few years ago I was You!
[points with finger in middle of auditory. Accidentaly everyone looks at the girl who seems like have been pointed. Mild confusion by everyone.]
Not You! You are girl! I mean I have nothing against girls! Just…. Ahem… You can’t be me! Well You can be if You really want.. Nowadays…
[starts nervously switching cards of speech]
Well! … I used to go to this school Edge school in Calgary. Yeeeah! And I had that great passion about hockey. I trained so much, I read books about greatest players. I skipped Ms. Cherkowski lessons to get extra minutes in training room. Sorry Ms. Cherkowski. Ammm. My point is … In this school .. It is possible to become a professional athlete and fulfill Your dreams, like I did. I haven’t achieved them all but I got pretty good start after this school. And Ms. Cherkowski is cool too. She thought me how to …. Animals… and… You know. My point is I’m giving thanks to this school about my recent success. I’ve got drafted by SMJHL and SHL. I played good last year and …. Thats… because…… ….. Because of….. Studies!
Can I finish now? Oh .. Turn off microphone first. Okay.. .Mhm… Okay.

[in audible speech]
[Turns back microphone and starts screech again]
And don’t do drugs! Thank You!
[Tries to turn off then principal comes and says he will have it!]