"Guys, here's the thing about it all. When I was your age, I was just some kid, who wasn't very talented, or well-liked, or personable, or handsome, or cool, or funny, or even very in shape. Most people would say my name wrong. Most people took note of my peers playing hockey who were simply much better than me in every facet of their game. I sat exactly where you are all sitting, here on this gymnasium floor, just your average kid. But over the course of time, look at me now! I'm not very talented still, or likeable or good looking, I'm still routinely compared to my peers, be it teammates or rivals, who are better than me, and people still can't quite get my name right. But now? I get paid a fuck ton of money to be this way!

(what's that? I can't swear because they're 8? I'm sorry that's my bad on that one).

Thanks for having me everyone!"