Ok so the first step is watching the South Park episode where Cartman teaches kids how to cheat on tests like 5 times in a row. Getting down my impression of "How do I reach these keeeedz".

When the time comes for the speech, I scan the crowd for the next Slip McScruff. I mean really scan the crowd, because I bet my dad left a few half siblings out here at least a decade ago. I find one and the whole speech is really personal and directed right at this one person. The others don't matter, it's me and Slip Jr.

The other kids lose interest and the school tries to get me off the podium, but I'm stronger than them because I'm a professional defenseman in the SHL. I tell Slip Jr all about the secrets to unlocking our hidden hockey talents. The key that was left to him by his grandfather, the map he could never figure out how to read. I connect all the dots for him and see the understanding click in his eyes.

I think I made a difference on this day, I just hope he doesn't wake the Minotaur. Crap, I never said the line!