If I woke up one day and was told I was the GM of an expansion franchise, first, I would cry from unhappiness. My new team name would be the Myrtle Beach Fiddlers in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Myrtle Beach is an overwhelmingly dumb tourist place on the outside. It has too many golf courses, too many people from other places, and the Boardwalk doesn't live up to the hype unless maybe you're drunk. However, get to know the people who live there, and they also come from all over. They love their sports teams from other places and they have money because they're retired and I know how they should spend it (on hockey seats).

The Myrtle Beach Fiddlers would be named after the Sand Fiddler Crabs that are found in the area. They are hilariously cute and the team's philanthropic mission could be preserving marshes and educating people on how important the ecosystem in the area is (never mind that we're making ice exist in a place it shouldn't 24 hours a day). Also, we could have fiddlers play music in front of the opposing team's bench when we score goals just to annoy them. Fiddlers apparently also could be "a person who wastes time or acts aimlessly," and that is part of my brand, so that's also why they're named the Fiddlers.

Our colors would be like a greeny teal color and some hot pink color to feel all warm and fun and like we don't care, and also to represent the vibrancy of the area. Our goal song is still being decided, unfortch. Also, the players who like golfing have literally so many courses to choose from. This team would also last here for a couple years before moving down to Atlanta.