If I were put in charge of an expansion team with all of the control I could ask, I would probably just try to go for the craziest option in every place. The name can't be limited to the city, it has to be nuts. Probably The Fighting Mongooses. Like a horrible high school team. If I had my choice of city I would probably put it in the worst spot available, like a place in Pennsylvania that no one's ever heard of. If they made me pick a real city, I'd probably do Pittsburgh, but if I have full reign, it's going in a little dump like Erie. Maybe I could put it in Easton and get a real good equipment deal for the team. Yes. The Easton Fighting Mongooses. The colors have to be unique. I'm thinking Orange as the primary uniform color. I would use royalty free music for the goal song. The Entertainer (1902) would do nicely.

So to recap. The Easton Fighting Mongooses, orange primary color, The Entertainer as a goal song, and every player must use Easton gear. I think I've built an owner's dream team. The only question now is why am I not in charge of the next expansion?