The Winnipeg Jets fantasy camp would have no shortage of legends and luminaries in attendance for a good, high-level camp for any aspiring beer leaguers.

First it would start with some power skating, with Jets legend Andrew Hawkins leading the troops and giving instructions. Then we would see a drill on defensive fundamentals, done by former Jets checking forward Nolan Snipez, focusing on ways to retain puck possession, use the pokecheck adequately, and choose between committed to a bodycheck or committed to hanging back and staying between the shooter and the goal. (With a plus/minus of -27 in Season 46, Snipez is eminently qualified for the task.)

Next up we would see a shooting drill led by Jason Visser, the first actually qualified person to be doing this stuff. Visser would teach the intricacies of the wrist shot for about half an hour before being cut off by some pompous jerk running the camp for no reason. Then camp attendees wouldbe treated to a open buffet of sandwiches, soup, and pastries provided by the lowest quality branch of Tim Hortons in the province of Manitoba. Any complainers over the buffet's quality will have hounds released on them, which doubles as bonus dryland training.

Finally, camp attendees will be put in the Airport Motor Inn six to a room, before being given bonus nosebleed tickets in the next Jets home game against the Steelhawks. Overall, a truly terrible camp experience, but real estate magnates sponsoring this make out like bandits, which is what really matters.