PLATOON CAMP:

The Baltimore Platoon have announced the inaugural opening of their Play-With-The-Pros Training Camp to come this December. "We're really pumped to announce the itinerary for this season's fantasy camp," JR, co-GM of the BAP said. "We think that the fans will like it too!"

The idea is to allow fans the experience of training with the Baltimore Platoon and even some Alumni. It itinerary is as follows:

-Six hours of Mario Party (Games 1-4) with rookie Serpe, in which he promises to "clean the floors wit' ya"
-A twenty minute nap held in the arms of Zoone, where he will rock you to sleep - a tradition for Platoon skaters before a game (get your 8 folks!)
-The Hug Gauntlet - where Platoon alumni will gather to embrace you like you need it, since your father never does.
-Twelve course meal (featuring live edible arrangements) as put on by the wonderful Platoon staff. They're technically pirates, so please don't look them in the eye, unless you want them to be your captain.
-Week long LSD binge across the forests of Maryland

This fantasy camp experience brought to you for the low, low price of $6,969.