Is this even a question? What would happen in a Quebec City Citadelles Battle Royale? We have Boris Petrov. MY CLIENT, BORRRRRRRIS PETROV.

Let’s talk about it. Let’s get it out of the way. What would happen? Petrov would lay a beating on every member of the Citadelles, the likes of which none of us have ever seen before. Boris would take his hands, put them on each and every member of the team, and suplex us all through the ice repeatedly.

Then, he would get bored. He would get hungry. He’d go out for dinner, say, “G’night everyone.” At some point, someone might try to step in. Maybe Danny Foster would come out of retirement, try to get another 15 minutes of fame. But Boris would still level everyone in sight. Maybe a real fighter would even show up. But no matter, Boris Petrov would lay waste to everyone in his path.

So yeah, let’s not do this.