1. (3 TPE)
Valtterri Kauppinen of the Vancouver Whalers absolutely excelled on his junior team this past season. Even before this season he was already a pretty good goal scorer. But now, with a huge upgrade in his time on ice with the departure of Vancouver's forward core of veterans such as Daniil Nikiforov, he was able to bury the puck in the back of the net a total of twenty seven times along with assisting on a total of thirty goals, for fifty seven total points. While I am a little bit disappointed that due to a late season scoring funk Kauppinen was unable to get over sixty points, he certainly made up for it with his performance in the playoffs, especially in the series against the Detroit Falcons (which ended up being a 4-0 sweep for the Whalers). In that series, he had managed to set an FHM-era SMJHL record, where he scored seven points in one game. Overall, a good season and post-season for Koopatroopanen.

2. (2 TPE)
While this idea may not be exactly the best (what with an option like Playmaking Defenseman existing), there's a difference between a playmaker and setup man on FHM's engine, so let's go with the Setup Defenseman. The Setup Defenseman will always be on the lookout for an open teammate to possibly move the puck to, and is also willing to throw the body in order to maintain possession of the puck. Key attributes for the setup defenseman include passing and hitting, while important attributes are offensive read, strength, stickchecking, and balance. When the defenseman hits, he hits like a truck, and has the balance to keep himself on his feet and his stickchecking allows him to fish out the puck from the opposing player without taking a penalty due to tripping or hooking.

3. (3 TPE)
Over this off season so far, the Vancouver Whalers have been involved with a number of charitable organizations located in the city of Vancouver. Among the players on the team, the Whalers' winger and assistant captain, Valtterri Kauppinen, has especially gotten himself involved with a bunch of charities and other organizations. While the Vancouver Whalers donated large sums of cash to foundations such as the Hockey Education Reaching Out Society - also known as HEROS - Kauppinen himself managed to sneak his way into multiple charity auctions and events, where he signed jerseys, sticks, and many other items. On top of this, he has also showed up to a handful of high school hockey training sessions, where he once again signed memorabilia and sometimes even coached some of the kids on how to get their skating form, or their shooting skills, just right. Overall, many, many people were made happy this offseason by the Whalers organization.

5. (2 TPE)
I am not going to go with the obvious answer for the best team to not make the Simulation Major Junior Hockey League's Four Star Cup finals with the Quebec City Citadelles. Absolutely not, I am going to go with the virtuous and great Whalers out of Vancouver. Now, I get it, they struggled during the regular season. But you have to keep in mind that had it not been for an incredible midseason slump, where the Whalers were wracked with fitness and stamina issues for weeks and months on end, they probably would have been third or even second in the western conference. Once Vancouver recovered from their stamina woes and made it into the playoffs, we saw what they could really do - when they eliminated the Nevada Battleborn in 5 games, and the Detroit Falcons in a clean sweep - where Valtterri Kauppinen set a single-game points record. Sadly, the Whalers fell short, but not for a lack of effort - Anaheim Outlaws goalie Vincent Mietitore bailed out the team. That's why I think Vancouver was the most scuffed team out of the finals.

15. (3 TPE)
breezy

16. (3 TPE)
While Whalers star winger Valtterri Kauppinen may be over the age of eighteen, me, his creator, certainly is not. Because of this restriction on myself being a minor at fifteen years old, I am instead going to have to opt for and create an 'OnlyFriends' account in place of the would be OnlyFans account. On everybody's favorite Koopa Troopa's OnlyFriends account, you will have the option of talking to the Whalers winger at least once a day for five minutes at a time, unless he doesn't like you, in which case you get two minutes at most. On top of that, Kauppinen will also post highlights of goals that he has scored simply to stroke his ego, and you will be able to comment and reply under these posts - just like on Twitter, or rather Facebook if you're a boomer. As the cherry on top, you will have to pay twenty real dollars a month (or one million SHL dollars a month) in order to access the account. Why? I'm broke and need money, that's why.