With the new Simulation Hockey League contract rules coming into effect a couple of seasons ago, I have been forced to take a pay raise from four million dollars to six million dollars, necessitating Buffalo to begin to partake in salary cap gymnastics, specifically making everyone else take minimum deals, as well as not having as deep as a contract pool as is usual for the Buffalo Stampede. With my extra money, I am making from the Buffalo Stampede, I am giving back to the poor, specifically @Zombiewolf who does not make six million dollars a season. I am also bribing the Simulation Hockey League Head Office to begin plans for playoff expansion or divisional realignment, as it is likely that the team that finishes fourth in the Great Lakes will finish fifth in the entire league but still miss playoffs. With any of my extra leftover contract money, I will give back to Buffalo by increasing the quality and the amount of meow mix that @WannabeFinn feeds me, @Grum, and @Ferda.

Quote:172 words