My ELC has a no-movement clause, one I intend to request in all subsequent contracts as well, stating that I cannot be traded to or expansion-draft exposed to any team not located in the great state of Ohio. Within this soon-to-be independent nation, there lie three great cities. Cleveland, the affectionately-named Mistake on the Lake; Columbus, Cowtown; and Cincinnati, that really weird city with all the Germans in it. The clear choice for a new SHL franchise out of these three jewels of the continent is Cleveland, for the following reasons:

1) Columbus already has a hockey team in that other league nobody cares about, and that team appears to be cursed. Best leave that beautiful yet unfortunate city alone.

2) Cincinnati, as a city, has the personality of a beer league goalie. He's a gem, you'd take a bullet for him, but he probably has a shrine to ABBA in his basement and would physically consume a puck if you left him unattended with it. An SHL team based there would, therefore, draw a recruitment pool entirely comprised of goalies, which would devastate the balance of the league's playerbase. Perhaps expansion to Cininnati should be considered if the league ever runs drastically low on netminders; as that is not the case right now, it would be best to keep Cincy in reserve.

3) Cleveland presents an impeccable opportunity for branding, as detailed below.


In the War of 1812, the modern Cleveland area served as a base for American naval legend Commodore Perry and his daring raids against the then-British (yes they were, be quiet) fleet and holdings along the Great Lakes. While the American Army blundered hysterically and let the British burn the White House down (and there was much rejoicing in the land), the contributions of the Navy deserve to be memorialized.

I therefore propose the Cleveland Commodores. Their branding will vaguely resemble that of the Columbus team in That Other League in shared American military traditional color scheme, but will have as its logo the snarling face of an early 19th century sea captain with bicone and cutlass pointed towards the viewer. The secondary logo, so as not to tread upon the toes of the SHL's existing nautical team in Seattle, will be either a classic ship's helm with two "C"s, one nested within the other, in its central wheel, or a naval cannon pointed forward with its mouth stylized in the shape of two "C"s, one reversed to form a circle.

When this team is approved, I will rest easier knowing that my next create can play for a great city in the greatest state.