Slavakov Vladimirashenko is a bum of player currently on the roster of the Newfoundloser Berserkers. His current accomplishments so far in his career include absolutely nothing of value other than a pity award given to him by the commissioner since they felt so sorry for his failure on the ice. How he grifted Edmonton into wasting a first-round pick on him is surprising, but it’s not like he’s ever going to play in the SHL since he’s just a waste of a roster spot. Surprisingly, they gave this guy the Federation Head job of Japan, even though I bet he couldn’t tell the difference between his head and his foot. Even more surprisingly, he ended up getting a gold medal in his first season. While that sounds impressive, we all know that Ryuuji Minamino did everything, but good of Slavakov to just ride the coattails of his more successful partner. And besides, no one who’s friends with Jukka Timonen is worth talking about.

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