The Book of PTs Chapter 1

1 The words of Wikipedia, son of Jimmy and Larry, of the editors that were in the lands of Washington:

2 Revealed to the Editor in the days of Joseph son of Joseph, King of America by the LORD in the first year of his reign.

3 And thus the LORD revealed and came unto the Editor saying

4 I am the LORD your god, creator of the most sacred game, blesser of all goals and fount of all shots, and I have ordained thee my prophet

5 Take heed of my words and rejoice, for they are revealed to thee for distribution to the many

6 Beware of false prophets, those who wouldst try to stray thee from the truths I shall reveal to you

7 And the truth is this:

8 Samat of Kazakh is a deciever, who rules his lands with no real merit

9 Though he claims right to the starting position his achievements are meager and his failures vast

10 He claims to relish in the blessings of advanced stats but in reality even in those metrics he does not really stack up

11 So sayeth the LORD