BREAKING NEWS :
Tampa Bay Barracuda superstar and league legend Michael Fitted has been dealing with some serious blockage in his bowels this offseason. His serious constipation problems have caused him to play poorly on the ice as he has been greatly slowed down by the amount of fecal matter clogged up in his system.
Michael Fitted pushing so hard he starts to bleed
Seeing the agony that his teammate is in, Ambacas Cuddles decided to take matters into his own hands. After another preseason loss vs the New England Poopack today, Cuddles snuck some laxatives into Fitted’s 9th postgame beer. It took awhile for him to notice, but shit hit the fan when Fitted and Cuddles were doing their late night blow behind the local Pet Smart. After Fitted snorted a giant line of REDACTED, he felt a sneeze coming on. As he let out a sneeze, Fitted took a massive shit in his pants due to the laxatives. Fitted then went into the Pet Smart and wiped his ass with a hamster
@
Fitted2106
Thanks to @
karey and @
JSS for the sigs!
Teddy Cuddles | RW | Edmonton Blizzard | Hall of Fame Player Type : Two Way Forward Height: 6'5" | Weight: 220 lbs | Age: 19 Number: 79 Birthplace: Providence, Rhode Island, USA -------------------------------------------------------------- Regular Season Stats : S35 | STL | GP:28 | G:2 | A:1 | P:3 | PIMs:5 | HIT:7 | Shots:25 | +/-:-4 S36 | STL | GP:50 | G:10 | A:10 | P:20 | PIMs:5 | HIT:97 | Shots:88 | +/-:-1 S37 | STL | GP:50 | G:13 | A:27 | P:40 | PIMs:56 | HIT:120| Shots:146 | +/-:+10 S38 | EDM | GP:50 | G:6 | A:7 | P:13 | PIMs:62 | HIT:114 | Shots:83 | +/-:-18 S39 | EDM | GP:50 | G:7 | A:15 | P:22 | PIMs:36 | HIT:161 | Shots:78 | +/-:-10 S40 | EDM | GP:50 | G:13 | A:29 | P:42 | PIMs:46 | HIT:197 | Shots:109 | +/-:+7 S41 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:17 | P:34 | PIMs:49 | HIT:143 | Shots:121 | +/-:-4 S42 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:24 | P:41 | PIMs:52 | HIT:135 | Shots:132 | +/-:+9 S43 | EDM | GP:50 | G:14 | A:23 | P:37 | PIMs:24 | HIT:121 | Shots:121 | +/-:-2 S44 | EDM | GP:50 | G:21 | A:32 | P:53 | PIMs:28 | HIT:131 | Shots:214 | +/-:+19 S45 | EDM | GP:50 | G:13 | A:24 | P:37 | PIMs:51 | HIT:170 | Shots:185 | +/-:+9 S46 | EDM | GP:50 | G:29 | A:31 | P:60 | PIMs:53 | HIT:152 | Shots:195 | +/-:+9 S47 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:33 | P:50 | PIMs:46 | HIT:182 | Shots:199 | +/-:+8 S48 | EDM | GP:50 | G:22 | A:23 | P:45 | PIMs:26 | HIT:182 | Shots:210 | +/-:+7 S49 | EDM | GP:50 | G:20 | A:25 | P:45 | PIMs:36 | HIT:149 | Shots:208 | +/-:+1 -------------------------------------------------------------- Post Season Stats : S35 | STL | GP:7 | G:0 | A:0 | P:0 | PIMs:0 | HIT:2 | Shots:4 | +/-:+1 S36 | STL | GP:6 | G:1 | A:1 | P:2 | PIMs:7 | HIT:14 | Shots:12 | +/-:+3 S37 | STL | GP:13 | G:4 | A:5 | P:9 | PIMs:26 | HIT:26 | Shots:30 | +/-:+7 S38 | EDM | Did not qualify S39 | EDM | GP:7 | G:3 | A:3 | P:6 | PIMs:4 | HIT:18 | Shots:10 | +/-:+1 S40 | EDM | GP:7 | G:1 | A:6 | P:7 | PIMs:4 | HIT:33 | Shots:15 | +/-:+2 S41 | EDM | GP:7 | G:2 | A:3 | P:5 | PIMs:12 | HIT:15 | Shots:15 | +/-:+1 S42 | EDM | GP:11 | G:5 | A:8 | P:13 | PIMs:10 | HIT:25 | Shots:38 | +/-:+1 S43 | EDM | Did not Qualify S44 | EDM | GP:11 | G:4 | A:7 | P:11 | PIMs:12 | HIT:31 | Shots:42 | +/-:+3 S45 | EDM | GP:18 | G:7 | A:11 | P:18 | PIMs:24 | HIT:56 | Shots:68 | +/-:+8 S46 | EDM | GP:4 | G:0 | A:0 | P:0 | PIMs:2 | HIT:9 | Shots:11 | +/-:-5 S47 | EDM | GP:6 | G:3 | A:2 | P:5 | PIMs:6 | HIT:24 | Shots:25 | +/-:+2 S48 | EDM | GP:5 | G:2 | A:2 | P:4 | PIMs:0 | HIT:11 | Shots:19 | +/-:0 S49 | EDM | GP:23 | G:7 | A:17 | P:24 | PIMs:18 | HIT:76 | Shots:89 | +/-:-2 -------------------------------------------------------------- Awards and Achievements: S37 | STL Kanye Summers Award for Regular Season Team MVP S37 | STL Bradley Wingels Award for Best Forward S40 | Gold Medal Winner S40 | Aidan Richan Trophy Winner S44 | Became 4th player in Edmonton Blizzard History to reach 1000 Hits S45 | Challenge Cup Champion S45 | Anton Razov Trophy for Playoff MVP S45 | Silver Medal Winner S46 | 1st Team All Star S46 | Sarmad Kahn Nominee S46 | Jef Darr Nominee S47 | Jef Darr Nominee S49 | Challenge Cup Champion S49 | Anton Razov Nominee -------------------------------------------------------------- Draft/Signing/Trade History: S35 | Signed to STL S36 | Drafted to Calgary 26th overall S36 | Traded to Edmonton Ambacas “Femboy Hooters” Cuddles | D | Tampa Bay Barracuda Former USA Fed Head, Carolina Kraken Co-GM, Tampa Bay Barracuda GM
trella![[Image: FHN.png]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/734915775084888084/738174113406910555/FHN.png)
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