Ding dong!

‘Who the fu…’ Urquhart mutters to himself, putting down his big plate of fried ravioli (it’s a St Louis thing, get educated needs) and wandering to the door. ‘Here’s your package, sir’ the overly enthusiastic UPS guy says, handing him a small box in what can only be described as discreet packaging. ‘Thanks’ he says, with a half smile and all the enthusiasm he can muster, closing the door and heading back to his t-ravs. 

As he munches the rest of his delicious crunchy pasta treats, he racks his brain, trying to work out what he ordered, and when! He puts the empty plate to the side and picks up the package. It gives a slight rattle when shaken. Even more confusing. He starts to rip away the packaging and is confronted with an unfamiliar logo:

Erect-O-Max! Stamina and Performance! For Men!

‘Huh, I could use more stamina and performance on the ice’ he says to himself, popping a couple of the odd, blue pills out of the packet and necking them. He grabs his wallet, phone and keys and heads to practice. When he gets into the locker room, he notices something familiar taped to the whiteboard. ‘Oh man, my credit card! Very funny guys! Also, did someone shrink my practice shorts? They feel a lot tighter than usu….oh. Uh coach, I think I might sit practice out today’