Unfortunately, due to the fact that I'm a duck and you humans think all ducks look alike, I have on more than one occasion been accused of crimes I did not commit. I hate yelling, especially over the internet...but JUST BECAUSE A DUCK POOPED ON YOUR CAR DOES NOT MEAN IT WAS ME!! There is a famous children's book "Everyone Poops" and in case you didn't know, ducks are included in that "everyone". I am a sophisticated duck. I do not poop in public, unless there's a convertible with a top down. That's a temptation that no bird can pass up. So, before you go berating me (and my family) over social media, make sure the duck you saw was actually me. I have the distinctive features of being 6'-4" tall and weigh 245 pounds. The average duck is 6" and about 10 pounds, you hopefully you lot can tell the difference. I've worked hard to make a good name for myself and I will not stand for this anti-Puddles agenda.