Alright, You thought Gerry Atrick was finished? you thought he was done? You thought he'd abandoned the league in the hour of need? Well think again suckas. He's back, and he's slower than ever. See you think you can compete against him since he has a bum knee and is too blind to see (Straight) But you can't, 'cause he ain't, come on and try to face me.

Gerry Atrick, in his absence, was actually training with the top authority on putting pucks on goal, such as Dwayne Gretzky, and the guy that maple made. Treebeard, yeah that. So make sure you welcome Gerry Atrick back to the rink, and the league, and be ready for the sickest clappers you've seen since .. I don't know, the last time he was back in the league.
Gerry simply forgot his passphrase in order to get himself into the lockerroom, you see they've changed things these days. hell maybe he even just forgot how to find the lockerroom, and he spent many days working as the janitor since no one bothered to tell him where the ice was. maybe they did and he forgot, who knows? not Gerry.

"Can't wait to get back on the ice for the Kelowna Rocket Dogs!" Gerry was quoted as saying, who knows why.
"What do ya mean my team didn't protect me?" 
"I play for a bear team?"
Perfect, Gerry was quoted as saying, after he found out for the 12th time today that he was picked up in free agency "Yeah I'll play for the bear team, and the other team can see my bear ASS!"

And with this, we say farewell to Gerry atrick for the time being, Until the next time he steps on the ice with some random vulgarities and confusion.
Goodnight SHL.

~300 words