171 words

Evgeni Petrov in charge of anything that has power related to it has no way of going well. He has no sense of what is morally right and wrong so the chaos will be fantastic to watch. The first thing that would be done is fighting would be cranked to the absolute max. Every player would get the max fighting rating out of the gate and the sim tendencies would be cranked to 11. The Turd Furgeson award would never be the same with so many players getting majors like it was nothing. The next thing is goalies are allowed to be put in the shootout, because quite frankly it’s garbage that they can’t. With goalies getting the chance to shoot pucks just like the forwards can they can prove their value to the league that much more. The final thing is if you score a goal on Evgeni in any sim, your player gets renamed to something silly like “Poopy McButt” until you send him a handwritten letter of apology.