Answering for the player prompt:

Vaseline Podcalzone, in another life, would probably end up with some job related to the sea. His hometown of Vladivostok is a cold, port city in Russia, where the ocean is an all too familiar site. Who knows what Podcalzone would have been. A sailor? Maybe on a cruise liner? A fisherman hauling in some delicious fish to sell at the harbour?

Maybe at some point, Vaseline Podcalzone would have gotten fed up with constantly being out at sea, and chosen to settle down for some occupation on land. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he carried on with his passion for the ocean and became some chef at a seafood restaurant. A poissonier, as they would call it in cuisine lingo.

Granted, that is assuming Podz didn't have any natural athletic aptitude. Otherwise, he would absolutely be an athlete in some other olympic sport. A speed skater, probably.

So, to summarize: Vaseline Podcalzone, if he were not a hockey player, would either be a fisherman, a fish chef, or a speed skater. But Podcalzone is neither of those. For he is a hockey player.