Dear Crab Camaro,

This is a pretty easy one. Take the butt end of your hockey stick and smash in one of the windows. If you want to take it a step further, have a bucket of stingrays on hand, because crabs absolutely despise stingrays. Throw a few in there and let the rays have at it. At that point, you should be able to open the door while the crabs are preoccupied. If you want to make a big splash, ask the local fire department to be there with hoses blazing, to completely pulverize the crabs with water. Sure the interior will get wet, but you would have needed to clean the inside anyway. If you go that route, just let it air dry for a few days, and that 90 Camaro will be as good as new. I know you said this is a nightmare, but its not too bad. Just breathe deeply and take it one claw at a time.


Sincerely,

DG