As my contract with Montreal is the bare minimum and I can’t even pay my heating bill with it, I have decided to take a second job at the local newspaper. They have asked me to write a daily advice column.

My first one started with the following words: “Don’t do it!”

So you are probably thinking I mean don’t become a hockey player with these words, but that’s not it. Being a hockey player is the best thing ever and I’m enjoying every minute of it. I’m grateful for having the opportunity to play at the highest level possible. What I meant with these words is that you shouldn’t create a TikTok account. TikTok is a digital cancer created by the Chinese to influence your every day life. Also the stupid videos you get to see because of the infamous algorithm will make you lose brain cells at a faster pace then chugging a whisky bottle a day. So don’t do it!