"So we're essentially just gonna slap Fiorentini in a cheap Spartan costume and send him out behind the opposing team's bench. Start banging on the glass behind them with a little plastic sword and shield. See someone wearing the opposing team's jersey? Whack em in the head with the sword. See the opposing mascot? Beat the shit out of them. We start a cheeky little brawl in the seats? Malice at the Palace 2.0? Fuck it, a little controversy never hurt nobody."

-- Except taken from leaked emails between GM Finn Kruger and Head of Marketing Pietra Volkova