1. Fan Appreciation Day

For Fan Appreciation Day, the Regina Elk are giving away some special merchandise to celebrate their playoff victory over the Anchorage Armada. Each seat in the arena will have a cute little bobblehead of the Elk's mascot standing victoriously upon a sinking ship, hoisting a purple and gold flag up high. These will be given away at the first home game the Elk will play against the Yukon Malamutes in their upcoming playoff series. (74 words)

3. Secret Plans

The trick to guarantee yourself victory is to get your opponent's mind out of the game. A lot of teams take the approach of making the opposing locker room as uncomfortable as they can - bad lighting, uncomfortable seats, lockers that are too small. We are planning of taking the exact opposite approach here - make them feel like they are in heaven. Each opposing player will get a couch of their own. They will have access to unlimited alcoholic beverages of any kind - we'll even set up a bar in their locker room with their very own bartender. For those who prefer recreational drugs, we'll have a wide variety of (legal) options for them to partake in, free of charge of course. Of course, hockey players need food to power themselves, right? We will provide the opposition with the richest and fattiest (and stomach destroying) wagyu beef on the face of the planet. By the time the game starts, they won't be able to move - but that's alright, they won't want to anyway. This should ensure that the Elk win every single home game, so 33 wins guaranteed. For away games, it's much trickier, however I'm sure we could just pay off members of every other team's staff to do some... friendly sabo- uh I mean pranks! Pull some funny pranks, like shutting off the power to the TV they use for video reviews or placing hidden microphones in their locker rooms. All in good fun, of course. (247 words)

7. Winner Winner Chicken

There are 3 teams which I could see winning the Four Star Cup this season. First, the Regina Elk. Of course I'm gonna mention my own team here - you can never discount the possibility of a midfield team making a Cinderella run to victory. I mean, the Elk have already won one series - who's to say we can't win three more? Second, I have to mention the Maine Timber. I mean, if you look at the standings, Maine should be the clear favorites, regular season champions, 51 wins in the regular season. Granted, they were in a similar situation last season where they couldn't quite pull it off, but this time around could be different. Finally, I have to mention the defending champions, the Newfoundland Berserkers. After a decent regular season performance, the Berserkers can never be counted out. They've won 6 of the past 15 championships - clearly a sign of a team who KNOWS how to win championships. I see no reason why they can't do it again. (169 words)

12. On The Radar

Adrians Skalbergs is a fairly fast, somewhat physical playmaking right winger. A somewhat late pick in the juniors draft, he was selected by the Regina Elk in the 3rd round, 33rd overall. Skalbergs spent his debut SMJHL season on Regina's 3rd line, alongside fellow rookies Austin Morley and Ana Parast. Notably, he was the line's leading points scorer - in 66 regular season games, Skalbergs registered 9 goals and 31 assists for a total of 40 points on the season. Skalbergs is capable of playing a physical game when needed, but still managing to keep himself out of the penalty box - being tied with several of his teammates for the least penalty minutes this season, only 16 - so on average, about one penalty every 8 games. He has also performed fairly well in his first career playoff series. In 6 games against the Anchorage Armada, Skalbergs had 4 points - 2 goals and 2 assists. His most notable performance was in the series winning game 6, where he was awarded one of the 3 stars of the game. So far, Skalbergs has been steadily developing his skills throughout the season, though whether or not he manages to keep his development on track is yet to be seen - as scouts may be concerned by the fact that two of his relatives, Ēriks Skalbergs and Teodors Skalbergs have both played in the league and ended up becoming major busts. Whether or not Adrians can break that curse is yet to be seen, but so far he has been progressing well. (261 words)

16. Goals

Honestly, my primary goal for my player's career is really just to have fun. I don't need to be super successful, I don't need to win championships, I don't need to get into the Hall of Fame. Over all, I just want to have fun. That said, one goal I would quite like to accomplish is to not be a bust for once. I want to actually stick around and become an SHL regular. I don't know if I'll manage that, but here's hoping. (84 words)