Login

**PapaSorin** · 06-30-2023, 10:00 PM

1) Introducing the Pork Tenderloin Bobblehead - A Must-Have Collectible for Fan Appreciation Day!

If I was in charge of the Grizzlies fan giveaway, there would be no doubt that the giveaway would be a bobblehead. It would have to be given away at our last home game of the season, because honestly, the fans deserve something after that shitstorm of a regular season. The press release would go as follows:

We're thrilled to announce that on February 26, 2038, during the highly anticipated last home game of the season, when our Great Falls Grizzlies take on the formidable Vancouver Whalers, we will be hosting an extraordinary Fan Appreciation Day!

As a token of our deepest gratitude for your unwavering support throughout this ugly season, we have prepared a special commemorative item that will surely make your fan experience truly unforgettable. Get ready to cheer on your favorite player, Pork Tenderloin, with our limited-edition Pork Tenderloin Bobblehead! To make this day even more special, the first 100 fans to arrive will receive a special signed bobblehead instead of the regular limited edition one. Join us on February 26, 2038, as we celebrate Fan Appreciation Day and honor your indispensable role in our team's success. Arrive early and secure your seat for the game to ensure your chance of receiving this limited edition Pork Tenderloin Bobblehead.

Thank you for being the backbone of our team's success. We know this season wasn't easy for you, it wasn't easy for us either. Let's finish off the Year of the Grizz the right way. We can't wait to see you at the game, cheering on Pork Tenderloin and the Great Falls Grizzlies!

406 words

14 - R&R

Let's be honest, Billy Hill ain't right. During the season he bought himself a few junker cars, a trap house in the slums of Great Falls, and was seen smoking the devils lettuce on a seemingly regular basis. When he wasn't on the ice or avoiding law enforcement, the North Carolina Latvia native is found managing the Latvian hockey federation on their way to next season's IIHF tournament. Billy's motto of work hard, play hard and I'll sleep when I'm dead are nothing less than canon. The odds of any R&R happening are pretty low. The odds of a mild drug overdose and being found passed out with a schlong drawn on his face are much more realistic of a character of his... values. Though realistically a nice nap in a hospital bed might do the guy well. Anything to keep his butt on the bench and not behind bars.

152 words

16 - Goals

It's been pretty clear since day one that Billy Hill's goals are simple. First, awards are the name of the game. Some trophies for the case and medals to hang in the locker at the arena are more than good to have, they're the entire motivation to play the game. If the hardware exists, Billy wants it.

Second comes international glory as he represents the nation of his birth: The United States Latvia. There's no guarantee that the SHL is going to work out career wise. But what is bigger than the SHL? The IIHF. If you win a WJC and go on to anchor your nation's defensive pairing, fame and fortune will follow. If Billy sticks to the plan and becomes the anchor of the Latvian defense, there is nothing that is out of reach for him career-wise.

Finally there is a SHL Cup. When it comes to professional hockey, there is no bigger price to attain. Your day with the cup is one that you'll never forget. Be it taking it to the golf course and using it as a beer cooler or denting it while throwing it from your boat to the dock, there is nothing better for a pro hockey player to do than to carry around a 4 foot tall silver trophy to say "I'm better than you and you know it." There are rumors that Billy will retire on the season he finally hoists the SHL cup, but he's also constantly high so you never know...

254 words.

+3 TPE - Milestones

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us