Holy shit, this PT was tailor made for Edmonton, wasn't it?

Right off the bat I want to make it very clear that this is satire - Egg is the best and I'm so happy that we got him. But...

If someone were to ask you what the pricetag for a super active first gen player was, you would probably assume something pretty high, right? Maybe a couple first rounders and a solid roster player. Now, what if this player was from Tamper Town? Just can't help himself but tamper wherever he goes. The price probably would be so high, would it?

Wrong. 

Nine picks. Nine picks is what we have up for this scrub. He hasn't even played a game yet. Sad. The sum of those picks being S72 - 1st, 3rd | S73 - 1st, 2nd, 2x3rds | S75 - 1st, 3rd, 4th - which could potentially rebuild an entire team in one trade. 

All he does is yell at me and wave a whip over his head menacingly. Help.