Listen up here, Aliens. You want to learn the great sport of Hockey? Well you came to the right fella. Johnny FourStar knows a thing or two about the heavens, and I think I can break this thing down for ya in a way that makes it real simple for you to pick up. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the Johnny FourStar School for Out of this World Players!

First thing is first, you have to have at least two limbs. Sorry glorgacks from the ray sector, you're going to have to sit this one out. Additionally, hovering is not allowed, so if you can do that, cut it out. And finally, if you can't see, this might not be the sport for you. If you use echo location, we can make an exception. And no telekinesis! That is what we call a dick move in these parts.

If you have the necessary body configuration to play the game, I will make you into a superstar!

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