Dear mom,

Well they got me. The aliens. I don't know what they want with my body, but they do have a complete hockey rink setup on their spaceship. It's weird... they have a stuffed Cale Amundsen in net, won't lie... even the aliens can't get it past his dead glove. They were intrigued by my skating, so I showed them a few things... problem being is they have big, slimy feet that can't fit into a pair of Bauers... So they just drilled swords onto their feet. Pretty efficient to be honest. Can't imagine the fastening part felt great. Regardless, it looks like they have a bit more edge, however I'm not sure if they thought through the process of removal. Other than that, we worked on only offense, ideal for Bender "We have defense for a reason" Junior. I'm okay though, Mom... As long as they stop touching my stick.

Bender