1. As Ubba Lodbrok continues on through out this rookie season of his, he has to start taking into account how the fans helped him and the team along the way. So of course, when the lazy guest relations department comes to the team to see if they have any ideas (isn't this what they get paid to do? Don't these players in the juniors not get paid enough as it is already?). Well, Ubba Lodbrok of the Anchorage Armada in the Simulation Major Junior Hockey League has decided that what they really need to boost this seasons fan appreciation night is giant cardboard cut out photos of all the players faces, but dressed in full drag. This will help scare away any people who might think that drag is poisoning the kids and lizard people are all out in full force to eat chrome ball hitches and have ring cameras on the pedometers. Yeah, I know, these people are nuts. Anyways, Ubba Lodbrok doesn't have to try hard to convice the rest of the team. They're all down for this amazing idea. The fans have a mixed reaction to it, but mostly because the lazy guest relations team accidentally dragged the cardboard cut outs, and didn't actually get photos of players in drag. (215) 4 tpe

3.
Now that the end of the season has come and gone, it's already time to start thinking about what the team can do to improve for next season. Aside from just play better and train better and score more goals, and be more aggressive on the back check and play your positions and get pucks deep and play a more complete rounded vertical game. There's obviously some big pushes that need to happen to get the team ready for a more competitive season in season 73. This may require some well thought out ruses and collusion between the building management team and the actual players. Let's think about some options real quick. Wifi kill switches. A fish in the Air conditioning unit in the visitor's locker room. Goalie pad modifications. Goalie skate modifications. Goalie glove modifications, think Inspector Gadget style. GO GO GADGET GLOVE. The team could also switch out the opposing teams toothpaste with Caulk. They could switch out smelling salts with cat urine crystals. It does the same thing, but smells absolutely horrible. While these things are all things that aren't "cheating" they don't fit the unwritten code of hockey. In the end, the team wants to win, and win honorably and nobly. And they want people to lament their trip to Alaska because they're a tough team to play, not because of the hard knocks games they play on the opposing team when they arrive. This is a miracle team as it is. The community needs them, the players need each other and the Juniors league needs Anchorage to survive. (263 words) 5 TPE


5. All right, here we are again, helping out the guest relations team with their job. Isn't this what we have social media people for? Isn't this the type of stuff they get paid to do? Should the players really be out here making nicknames and quotes for every one? I guess this is the stuff they do when they're bored anyways. So, they're technically getting paid to do this.

So for the anchorage armada, in the Simulation major Junior Hockey league has around 20 players.

Tony Soprano - What about the Gabagool?
Barg Hazbite - It's 5 o'clock somewhere. (Barg to Marg to Margarita to Jimmy Buffett)
Daniel Grumathan - Pig Pen (Grum means dirty, dirty kid always thinks of Pig Peg from Peanuts)
Joseph Reed - Moses (Moses was found in the river nile stuck amongst the reeds)
Sim Wen - Casio (Sim Wen sounds similar to Samsung, but the precursor to that is Casio watch)
Johnny Shuffleboard - Abuelito (The only people who play shuffleboard are grandpas and grandmas)
Cheeks Klapanen - Don Bot (Cheeks is reminicsent of Clamps, one of the robots in the Robot Mafia, but Cheeks's personality is that of a Don)
Ubba Lodbrok - Big Summer Blowout (Ubba looks big and menacing but is a softy at heart, just like the guy who sells stuff in Frozen)
Bongo - Bongo (there's no need for any more explanation here)
Finn Weiss - Jedi (it's funny because finn isn't a jedi, but realllllly wants to be one)
Dan Johnston - Dick (it's not because what you think, Dan's middle name is Richard, and Dick is short for Richard. Dan's also a dick)
MIke Rogers Jr - Juni (He hates being called Junior, so we call him Juni instead)
Kazuchika Okada -Wawa (Okada's first trip to the states, he stopped at Wawa and loved it)
Jean-Francois Bokassa - Picard (Jean-Francois kept getting called Jean-Luc, so Picard stuck)
Deep Thought - Smooth (Deep thought doesn't actually have any deep thoughts)
Paul Bondage - Bondi (Bondage, Bondi Beach)
Peter Lasma - Plasma Boy
Nocholas Scalice - Scrotus (Scalise, SCOTUS, Scrotus)

So, there you have it. A full breakdown of all the nicknames that the team has earned this year. Stay tuned until next year.

360 words (7 tpe)

MILESTONES
https://simulationhockey.com/showthread....pid3414793