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Welcome to New Zealand, fuckers, land of the free and home of the brave. We're implanting an ice rink right smack in the middle of downtown Auckland in the middle of the summer, and only through the sheer fucking pain and heartbreak of having to skate on actively melting ice will they learn the truth of this beautiful fucking sport. You ever try ripping a wrister from what is essentially bare slush beneath your feet? In some ways, it turns you into more of a fucking tough son of a bitch. Really bolsters your wrist strength when you're basically shoveling the puck into the net beneath a layer of slurpee that you skate on. Also makes it really hard for the goalie when his eyes have been blinded by the chemically treated ice. Anyway, what were we talking about? Benson Fiorentini bringing professional Tekken to New Zealand? Fuck, that's the dream isn't it, getting paid cash by the corrupt IIHF to talk about the world's greatest sport, Tekken, with the people of a place that consistently aren't placing in international tournaments. Maybe we'll even see a kiwi champ at EVO in the next decade? Fuckin' who's to say, huh?