Option 1: 

There are no X's and there are no O's. There is only split second decision making and lots of heart. Slip McScruff got through his career so far with pure chaos and he's not going to try and teach these kids anything different. They had a non-traditional training camp this summer (or winter? are these kids in school?) and their strategies are going to be non-traditional.

Instead of pucks on net, we want to get pucks on defenders. We aren't going for bodies in deep, we are going for point shots and prayers. Roam around until something breaks down and you can sneak the biscuit into the oven, or something that these kids will rizz with. The most important thing isn't having fun or winning, it's survival and longevity. You may lose today's game and tomorrow's game, but treat your body like a temple and you'll be losing the game 10 years from now that these other kids aren't even able to play anymore.