Oh good lord. The league has made a tremendous mistake. The Regina Elk have been tasked with providing musical entertainment for this most auspicious occasion. Which of our dear Elken brethren will take part? Let me tell you. Off the rip, it would be criminal not to acknowledge the similarities between drummers and goalies. Drummers and goalies are both generally odd people. Likewise, they both carry around with them extraordinarily superfluous amounts of equipment. Because we are the Regina Elk, and we are extremely weird, we need two drummers. Conveniently, we have two goalies. With Henri Losanov and Roman Cechmanek II (AKA RC2), our percussion is cemented. Over the sick beats that they drop, we will need sick guitar riffs. Mac Turner is obviously the man for this occasion. He can probably play more chords than he can score goals so far this year (2), which is dope. The assignment of bass guitar will be filled by Bean Beanman, Jr., since "Bean Beanman, Jr." is by far the most bass guitar ass name on this team. That leaves us with merely a need for a singer. No, it's not Mary Hollywood. Mary will instead be serving as hype girl, warming the crowd up for some Cool Regina Tunes while donning her Pit Vipers and throwing popcorn into the crowd. That's SO sick and cool of you, Mary. Anyway, our lead singer is not even a player. Instead, our general manager Charlotte Shomo will have to take the stage, since she's a little short on cash of late. Hopefully the utter humiliation that ensues will make up for her gross malfeasance.

There you have it, folks. Enjoy your popcorn.